Maimonides taught us that it is a mitzvah to give people feedback for incongruous behavior, so that they may return to the good way. He wrote “and you shall rebuke or give reproof to your colleague” (Mishnah Torah, Hilchot De’ot 6:67). “You need to let him know”. It is our obligation to rebuke if people can hear it. It still is a difficult thing to do in a sensitive, thoughtful way. In this context, the goal of to’cha’chah is not rehabilitation, but, rather, connecting at the heart with people so they know they are a part of the community. It requires knowing the balance between chesed and gevurah and not throwing rocks at people who do not understand, thereby further alienating them. To’cha’chah requires the wisdom to hold that balance and make the world a more ethical, loving, and spiritual place. It is how to become a humble and holy person—a mensch. Before we can have an opinion, we must have some knowledge and maturity. To’cha’chah is about how to create a healthy relationship with the people in your kehilah or your group or community. In this context Moshe was expressing to this new generation, how much he cared. This process is about giving feedback and, by doing so, expressing confidence in the person we are speaking with. He hoped they would change in their actions toward the world. To’cha’chah implies the belief that someone can change. Maimonides’s teaching was that if to’cha’chah is not given, it can lead to further relationship division and even the extreme of hatred. It is important to give to’cha’chah appropriately to help build and preserve relation- ship, and to help a person evolve spiritually. May we all be blessed that we do not need to’cha’chah, but if we do need it, that we receive it with humility, and that if we need to give it, may we give it with the consciousness and love of Moshe for the elevation of all peoples and individuals. Rabbi Gabriel Cousens, MD Torah as a Guide to Enlightenment (Parsha Devarim)
Posted on: Sun, 03 Aug 2014 01:40:10 +0000