Man, Ive had a lot of time to think about my whole life over this past weekend and reflect on a lot. I dont usually post about my personal life too much on here but recently Ive just been hit with a lot of things. Moving to, yet again, another completely different city, loosing my band, then almost immediately after I loose my 2 jobs I was working at and now Im barely pulling through only because my audio engineering is actually bringing me enough to get by (thank you music). Basically I took a year off college to focus on my band, and I guess from earlier you can see how that worked out. Not saying I want to give up on it, but this is just a really weird part of my life. Im so confused about what I want to do and who I want to be. Im lost as hell. And for some weird reason besides the fact that sometimes Ill just get so sad I get a sickness in my chest and stomach, lately I just keep getting more and more excited about what lies ahead for me even though I literally have no clue what that may be. My friends taught me some lessons this weekend they dont even realize yet, but because of this weekend I think I finally pulled myself out of this near depression type thing I had been feeling. Loosing my friends this time was almost like loosing apart of a family I grew so close to. And its hard coping with all of that when youre getting hit with like 80 different things at once and everyone is trying to tell you what to do because Im supposed to have figured my life out. Bullshit. None of my family had it figured out nor do they still. None of my friends do. Even the ones in college. If you think you do, you dont. But this weekend kinda changed things. Makes me realize I have a family and friends who want me and the rest of us to do well. I feel excited about being where I am now because honestly there could not be more opportunities than at this point in my life. The most lost part of my life. I just want to thank everybody basically who has been there for me and continues to be. Idk, maybe some of you dont feel the same, but I just wanted to put it out there. If any of you feel the same right now, I encourage you to try to at least do something that makes you happy. Or talk to someone man. I had a lot inside me that I was able to release this weekend.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 22:11:15 +0000
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