Many of us have gotten so good at following the dont feel rule that we can try to talk ourselves out of having feelings, even in recovery. If I was really working a good program, I wouldnt feel angry. I dont get angry. Im a Christian. I forgive and forget. Im not angry. Im affirming that Im happy. These are all statements, some of them quite clever, that indicate were operating under the dont feel rule again. Part of working a good program means acknowledging and dealing with our feelings. We strive to accept and deal with our anger so it doesnt harden into resentments. We dont use recovery as an excuse to shut down our emotions. Yes, we are striving for forgiveness, but we still want to feel, to listen to, and stay with our feelings until it is time to release them appropriately. Our God created the emotional part of ourselves. God is not telling us to not feel; its our dysfunctional systems. We also need to be careful how we use affirmations; discounting our emotions wont make feelings go away. If were angry, its okay to have that feeling. Thats part of how we get ... and stay ... healthy. Today, I refuse to accept shame from others or myself ... for feeling my feelings.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 16:32:38 +0000
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