Mindfulness Day 1: “To be mindful is to be truly alive and present with those around you and with what you are doing.” Well, doesn’t Mindfulness sound like a simple philosophy! Today, I am moved to try the first Mindful Action of 27 such actions throughout the month of May. You are my friends and this post is my “talk about the benefits of mindfulness”. John is more than my coach, he is my friend and mentor. He is also my brother. In being truly present, I need to acknowledge my past and its relationship with today. I’d first like to share a little of that: I am a Christian. I believe in a resurrected Christ and I struggle with my humanity and the endless need to validate my own existence to myself. Nelson Mandela famously proclaimed that our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate but that be are powerful beyond measure. He added that there is nothing enlightened about shrinking yourself so that others won’t feel insecure around you. “We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.” I have always had my faith, and in nearly ten years of my naval service during the 70s and early 80s, the familiarity of a church service and the welcome by congregations across Australia helped me to become a part of whatever community I was in as I moved frequently. When I finally settled down with my husband and young family in Brisbane in 1990, I worked in a high school for 15 years and often kids or teachers would find solace in a few quiet moments in my office while I just listened. I believed that listening and giving to the community was living my faith in the real world. I wasn’t listening to myself, though. I also travelled often to countries such as Solomon Islands and East Timor. In these places, I gave freely in very small ways to these people who have little themselves. In Honiara each year, I wrapped gifts each Christmas for 30 children of one village – small gifts such as pencils, colouring books or a toy drum. Id cook them a barbecue and with their parents, wed play soccer on the beach or throw a Frisbee in the pristine tropical waters. In Dili, I took photos of the children in a displaced persons camp at a local church. The joy when I took back printed copies for the parents was somehow disproportionate to their living conditions. They loved such simple keepsakes of their family and considered themselves lucky to be together, no matter their situation. My time was a gift easily given but my heart was not open. I was focused on motherhood and supporting my children and husband. Family is important and I thought I had a good plan to share myself without ever having to face myself. My plan, however, didnt continue to unfold like I imagined it would. It unravelled. My parents died within a week of each other; my eyesight deteriorated rapidly leaving me legally blind; my children grew up and left home; I had cancer and then my husband of 30 years also left. Life unravelled at a speed that left me gasping. And as it unravelled, God revealed just a small kernel of myself to plant anew, and the sunshine reaching that tiny seed came from the reflected light of friends. My tears would have scalded the feet of Jesus, but he turned them to healing tears that watered this seed of new life. I was forced to bow my head and heed my heart. Warmth and friendship came from the open hearts of people around me but it didn’t change my sense of epic failure. My cancer is now gone, my eyesight restored and with mindfulness, I finally came to see a different world around me. When I multiply tiny pieces of today through small increments of peace, I can accomplish magnificent things. With a heart that is mindful, I can see the shape of my life and be truly present in each day. I have remarried and moved to a space and place where the shadows of the past don’t reach even though I know that they are there. By being aware and awake to the present moment, I can let go of the hurt and see the beauty in my resurrected life.
Posted on: Sun, 04 May 2014 02:59:17 +0000
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