More examples from the recruiting trenches. You might think Im making these up, but Im not this creative. (Sometimes a boring cover letter is actually better) “Instead of a boring cover letter, I thought I’d send you a list of the top ten reasons why I should be your next employee. Please enjoy: #10: Im the only candidate who has sent you a top-10 list. #9: It would be awesome to work with someone who has the name of the second president. Think of all the jokes you could make! #8: When you meet someone who is smiling, it is scientifically proven that it releases endorphins into your bloodstream. (I smile a lot.) #7: I was voted most organized in my senior class—I have the yearbook to prove it. #6: Im totally qualified. Seriously, Im totally qualified. #5: If you photo-shopped me in to a group pic for your website, Id make everyone else look better. #4: I have a black belt in time management and efficiency. #3: I never forget that my popcorn is in the microwave at work. #2: Im not a nervous person.....nobody likes interviewing nervous people. Except for some people....and they are just mean. #1: You have absolutely nothing to lose, and you stand to gain an incredible new employee. On a serious note, the position you describe sounds like what I’ve been doing for the past 10 years of my career. I am available to start immediately, and I also come with a number of outstanding references, both from previous co workers, and previous supervisors. Thank you for taking the time to review my qualifications, and I hope to hear from you soon.” (Might have worked if he was applying for a job with the Letterman Show.) “i am searching for a good winning job,If you have any kindnees in your heart you will grant me this one wish to be succesfulll in life,and to make sure that what ever i do while iam here on GODs green earth that it will be good.” (Note to candidates: The business world is not a charity.) “I can basicly work any position. Currently working in the bakery answering phones and taking to-go orders and once the customer enters. I charge them for their order and make sure that they have everything that they ordered and if their is anything else I can assist them with. Then thank them for coming and tell them to have a great day. I also deal with customer satisfaction if a customer has a compliant I deal with them to find out if their is anything that I can do and make it correct right then, or if they were overcharged or if they are just unsatisfied I go above and beond to make sure that they are satisfied to the fullest and for them to leave and say to themselves that girl was nice. The ultimate goal to leave a good and great long lasting impression.” (The long lasting impression that this synopsis leaves is definitely not good or great. Aside from the atrocious misspellings and incomplete sentences, there is just too much unnecessary detail.) Her closing statement: “I also am a perfectionist I will not stop a project untill it is nearly perfect and even at that it is still not done. (Obviously, her perfectionism doesn’t extend to writing her resume.) “MY OBJECTIVE IS TO GIVE THE BEST THAT I GOT TO A COMPANY HWO GIVE ME THE OPORTUNITI TO SHOW MY POTENTIAL.” (This candidate’s potential is buried pretty deeply, if this is any indication.) “I want to prosper and advance within a stable ethnical company.” (It is always gratifying to read the resume of someone imaginative enough to create their own words. This one appears to be a combination of “ethical” and “ethnic”—interesting concept. Too bad the example below is from the same resume.) “On daily bases I have to do safety audits and do monthly five sigma programs.” (Five sigma? This guy is one sigma short. And he can’t spell.) Fast learner willing to Succeed (Willing to succeed? I’m not even sure what to think about that.)
Posted on: Fri, 15 Aug 2014 22:59:35 +0000
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