Mornin Yall, Its Two for Tuesday with the smiles......................................... 1)A Senior Affair::::: One night, after the senior couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her chest, touching very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued gently feeling her hips, first one side and then the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the same to her right thigh. By this time the women was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself. Suddenly the man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed. Why did you stop darling? she whispered. He whispered back, I found the remote! 2)Local call in Texas; A man in Oregon decided to write a book about churches around the country. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign which read $10,000 a minute. Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Washington, Idaho, Utah, Oklahoma, Vermont, New York, and all around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign; and the same answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrived in Texas. Upon entering a church in Luckenbach, TX, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: Calls: 50 cents. Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God. However, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute -- your charge is only 50 cents. How can this be? The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, Son, youre in Texas now..... its a local call.
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 12:06:34 +0000