Most men have a wound that came from our father, this is different than the more often discussed mothers wound (which is also damaging, but separate). Because the father wound is deeper, much deeper. The father wound comes both in subtle ways and in obvious ways. And both tear into the soul of a man. One of the main reasons that so many men feel like they are walking around as a fraud, as not really a man, is due to this father wound. These are the common words I hear.... Nothing was ever good enough for him. He never once said, I love you. He never approved of me or my decisions. He bought stuff for me, but was never there for me. He never shared anything with me. He told me I was weak. He said I was a Mommas Boy. He said I would never amount to anything. He said I was weak. He was always silent. He cared more for his hobbies and toys than me. He always said I should do better. He would mock my career choice. He would question my ability to be a husband and a father. He would compare me to him. Any of that sound familiar? If so, you are in good company. Please note Im not talking about bad men here. Im not talking about men who are physically abusive, who constantly berate their children, not that. Those challenges have their own unique needs, and those needs have to be addressed... Most fathers want to be good fathers, most men want to become the best father they can, most do not want to cause any wound to their children. However, men are imperfect, and since most boys will mirror their own fathers when they become fathers themselves, the cycle is repeated. That wound, the father wound, is at the heart of everything. It becomes life defining, it becomes part of who the man is. Men must heal this wound, in order to move to the next level in life. Men must come to terms with the wound, must be willing to acknowledge it exists, and be open to healing it. If not, if the man insists there is no wound, insists everything is great, then growing past this point is not possible, and the likely outcome is to go backwards. The understanding that this wound exists is step one. For some it is easy, there was a big outburst, there was a tragic event, there was a clear and obvious wound. For others (and this is the majority) the wound is not as obvious, and it takes time to uncover. But you must go down that road, you must find that wound, and then be willing to have the courage to walk straight into it. It hurts. It is not easy. But you have to go there, otherwise you will still be seeking the answer to this wound when you are on your deathbed...
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:13:32 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015