My dear parishioners, Last week I began writing about suicide. Over the years I have encountered many people who were contemplating suicide. In some instances, I was sufficiently concerned that they were serious enough; I called 911 to make sure they received assistance. In one of my pastoral counseling classes, we were taught to ask three questions to see if the person was serious. Question #1: Are you serious about taking your own life? Question #2: How would you do it? Question #3: When do you plan on doing it? If each of these questions was answered in a way that gave the impression the person was going to attempt suicide, we were to call 911 and have them brought to the hospital for evaluation. I have done this on several occasions. I take suicide very seriously because my own father took his life. My family was never 100% sure why he did it, but I believe that his interior pain was too much for him and he felt that he could not continue anymore. On the exterior, my father seemed to be happy, was effective at work and was planning on his next vacation. In a book I read a few years ago called Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge, the author makes a point that every man has to answer a question in his life: “Do I have what it takes?” Many men answer that question negatively, feel that they are living a lie and end up doing something to harm themselves or their families. This book helped me to understand my father’s suicide better. My father was a proud man who did not seek out help; he kept his pain within. If he had only gone to a 12-step program or to a therapist or even a priest, he might still be alive today. One of the things I learned from my father’s death is not to keep my pain within. I bring it first and foremost to Jesus, especially in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I speak with my spiritual director regularly. I call up friends or say I need to talk or go for a walk. I do have some awesome friends who are there for me at any moment. I can honestly say that some of my best prayer has been when I am in pain. The Lord Jesus never fails to console me and his Blessed Mother has wrapped her mantle around me more than once. If there is someone reading this letter and is contemplating suicide, please seek out help. Call the rectory, speak to a friend or confidant or even check yourself into a hospital. No matter how bad the pain, there is always a reason for hope. Let someone walk the way of the cross with you; you are not alone. God bless, Fr. O’Connor
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 14:52:12 +0000
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