My dearest wife, You lost your Grandmother today. She was a strong and wonderful woman. She was the first one of your family to accept me as I was; an angry, driven, obnoxious, and rebellious guy who was madly in love with her Granddaughter, but totally the opposite of everything your family wanted for you (and totally opposite of every bullet on your check-off list. I mean, Im definitely not 61, Im not euro-white, Im not an avid churchgoer, and I dont look like Christian Bale, but Grandma still accepted me). Do you remember how I would always ask Grandma, jokingly, if she wanted to go to the strip club with me, remember? That was her first impression of me, and I loved making her laugh. I will never forget the lessons your grandmother taught me. She didnt have to say a word to teach me anything. She lived those lessons as an example for anyone around her - If anything, your grandmother taught me two things; to remember the good in people because no one is perfect, and to forgive them for their imperfections, because that is who we are - imperfect people. Youre a living testament to your Grandmothers philosophy. And in that sense, I believe she lives on. When we lose a loved one, were reminded of how precious time truly is. Were reminded about how meaningless our self-proclaimed meaningful thoughts, or actions truly are - or the other way around. Were briefly reminded about the fragility of life: our own mortality - that our convictions, our purpose, our values could all be misplaced and for nothing; or it could be the difference between a life fulfilled and a life of senseless existence. Were reminded that our priorities may or may not be misplaced, as their loss forces us into a corner of painful self-reflection. Yes, when we lose a loved one (friend or family), were reminded to reflect on everything about ourselves. Sometimes, it destroys us and we never fully recover. Then again, sometimes, the pain of loss surrounds us like a cocoon composed of wonderful memories, and were reborn with a greater wisdom and respect for all that surrounds us, ready to face the next major obstacle of life. Babe, I empathize with your pain. And I wish you could feel me holding you right now. I wish I could squeeze away the sadness through countless hugs and kisses. The best I can do is somehow embrace your thoughts with mine, and hold your heart with the arms of a mental picture of Grandmas smile. Look at her. Look at Grandma in every picture. You can see her subtle grin and gentle smile. She always had that smile, especially when she was cooking for the entire family, and even more so when she saw me eat EVERYTHING, including that boney squirrel-stew. Look closely and you will see. In every one of her pictures; years of wisdom, and the love within her softly giggling eyes. Everything anyone would need to prove that their life was successful, your Grandmother saw all she needed in her final week with all of you. Her legacy of happiness was right there in front of her, and it exists within generations of faithful, loving and loyal family members - like you. I once heard someone say that a happy life, a good life, is a collection of great memories. I can say with much certainty, if the previous statement is the definition of a good life, then, your Grandmother closed her final chapter with the best of what life had to offer; surrounded by loved ones, by laughter, by reminiscence of all the great memories, and by her knowledge that your future is a fertile field of greater memories and successes to come. Babe, I know Im not there with you. I truly wish I could be right there with you, but keep those memories you made with her these last few weeks, those memories of joy and laughter - keep them close and mourn as you should. Cry out and let the world know of your sadness. Share in the heartache with your family. Mourn properly, mourn true, and let all versions of heaven hear your pain. As time passes - help her love and memory live forever. Share her legacy, and keep the best memories of her stored within the strongest puzzle pieces that compose the foundation of your character; Yes, share of her - share the best of your Grandmothers memories, and pass those memories throughout the generations. Loudly mourn for her - just as every heart would mourn her loss, but rejoice more loudly in the life she lived. Smile for her - because she would always have that infectious smile each time she saw you, just as I do. Sing for her - because she could never get enough of hearing your voice, as youd steal her heart with every song you sang (and it was your voice that stole my heart in the first place). Keep close to her - as if she never left; as if she is your new voice of reason, and listen as she speaks to you every day. Represent a piece of her - in all that you wish to do, in everything you do, be proud of who you are and where youre from. Finally, live with her - she is always with you. She will always be with you, because you live just as she taught you - with an open mind, a forgiving heart, and a graceful soul. There is no doubt that she is at peace. With love and grace, Your husband
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 03:58:46 +0000
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