My father, estranged to us for half of our lives, passed away at 6:41PM today. In his last hours, I have to endure eternities of awkward small talks with the fourth family, glossing over sensitive topics like absences and inadequacies and repeated unfaithfulness, with long pause or convenient euphemisms. There are pleasant surprises too. I discovered we have shared ordeal, suffering and angst growing up and working for your tuition, with my half brothers and half sister from the second family. I bonded with them instantly and I wished this chance meeting happened at a more pleasant occasion. Tatay never bothered to introduce us to one another so we grew up detesting each other--or the thought that one lives more conveniently, more comfortably than the other. And its only now that I have learned that they suffered the same fate when Tatay moved in with the third partner. My brothers and sister grew calloused from repeated heartbreaks and while the eldest ones remain defiant and indifferent until Tatays death, I couldnt blame them. Indifference has become our constant shield and blanket. How do you say goodbye to a loved one whom you had tried to forget decades ago for self-preservation? Nothing. Probably, few prayers that your happy childhood memory really took place and its not a subconscious desire that has manifested itself as a deep, vague yet haunting Freudian episode. What do you do when you were forced to decide whether this kind of father receives further resuscitation from the ICU staff members when his heart finally gives out? Teodoro Villa passed away at 6:41PM today due to cardiac arrest caused by kidney failure. He is my father and a cherished, distant memory. His remains will be at Funenaria Paz, Araneta Avenue, Quezon City from July 21 to 24. Cremation service will follow on July 24 at 2PM.
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 15:47:43 +0000
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