My friend wants me to recite the rosary with her. Would it be dishonest of me to do so ? Q #889: A person I socialize with is in the habit of reciting the rosary when someone travels with her and expects the other person to recite it with her. As a student of A Course in Miracles , would it be dishonest to recite “Hail Mary…pray for us sinners now….” or would it rather be a loving thing to do and in accordance with the Course teaching: “Recognize what does not matter, and if your brothers ask you for something outrageous, do it because it does not matter.” (T.12.III.4:1)? Would this exhortation apply to the situation I am talking about? I am a non-practicing catholic and have been a student of the Course for the past 6 years. Some of the women I socialize with attend church on a regular basis. I have been asked what church I attend. I didnt like being asked about that, as there is only one church in our parish. So, the first time I ignored the question. The second time, I spontaneously answered: “Good question!” I dont feel like answering that my spiritual path is A Course in Miracles . What would be a loving, honest way to answer that question? A: You have given yourself a very good answer to your question. It may certainly be a loving thing to say Hail Marys with your friend. There is nothing dishonest in being willing to meet your friend on her turf and on her terms. While your friend practices her beliefs, you can also practice yours by focusing on the content (the thoughts in your mind), not allowing the form (rosary) to come between you and your friend. This could make for a very relaxing ride. Similarly, there is no need to tell anyone that you are a student of the Course. The important thing from the perspective of the Course, is to pay attention to the discomfort you experience with your friends inquiries, because it reflects the minds conflict. The goal of the Course is to help us become aware of just such discomfort, so that the beliefs and judgments that are hidden beneath it can be exposed. That is the only focus the Holy Spirit brings. If you are willing to look at whatever judgments you have regarding your friends catholic practice and your identity as a non- practicing catholic / student of the Course, you may be surprised to find beliefs you were not aware of. These beliefs and judgments are what make it difficult to discern what to say to your friends about church attendance. Every judgment is some form of unforgiveness and unforgiveness blocks communication. As Jesus tells us in the workbook: “ Certain it is that all distress does not appear to be but unforgiveness. Yet that is the content underneath the form” (W.pI.193.4:1, 2) . With this in mind, it is possible to find the way out of every dilemma: “…only forgiveness heals an unforgiveness, and only an unforgiveness can possibly give rise to sickness [distress, discomfort, uneasiness] of any kind” (P.2VI.5:5). When forgiveness of ones judgments becomes the goal in the relationship, the relationship changes, and on some level all who are involved perceive the shift. Questions and answers may change, but it is the change in content that truly matters. In some form, the message that your friends inquiries are not upsetting to you will be communicated to them. Releasing them of any responsibility for your feelings makes every interaction lighter. Whatever you say will be free of judgment. If you remain a kind and loving friend in this way they probably wont care what church, if any, you are attending. If they do care, it wont be an issue for you. You cant lose. facimoutreach.org/qa/questions/questions176.htm#Q889
Posted on: Thu, 10 Jul 2014 12:26:46 +0000
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