My intent is not to preserve a person but to preserve a way of life, principles, values, and morals. Since the week my Dad died, thru last week in Phoenix, my Mom has asked me to concern myself with people I am not concerned about. I dont really what the 5% that didnt even attend the funeral think of me or what they thought of my Dad. A basic principle is the naysayers in your life dont really have a positive day-to-day role in your life to begin with. They are mostly family members you have seen 2x in 25 years that you dont exchange Christmas cards with anyway or people from high school you werent friends with 20 years ago anyway. My mom was talking about this 5% in the darkness, where even their names are a secret. She said something to the effect of you have to be careful because they read your posts and something might offend them. I dont care period. I should be spending my time and focus on the 95% of people that are good and matter. I called out the guy that called himself my Dads best friend about 2 years ago. The entire 2 weeks my Mom was here he was a no show. If what you are doing is right, you dont hide in the shadows. Calling my almost 90 year old Grandma in Illinois, my Dads mom, 2 Sundays a month was an issue. I guess to some unnamed sources it meant this or that. I dont concern myself with what it means to other people. My Dad was never concerned with it. He called his mom 2 Sundays a month and I will do the same for my Grandma. My Dad told my mom 3x a day as he was dying keep the main thing the main thing. When you are concerned with the 5% of unnamed sources that have absolutely no interest in any positivty in your life, thats just a distraction from the main things. I understand sometimes my mom amd sister want to tell me what to do like I am my 9 and 11 year old nephews. I am 41. I can do what I want. I can remember around 2010, my Dads coaches at Central and people in town where telling me what they thought he should do with Centrals boys basketball program. I told him. He laughed. He said until they have the balls to come to me and put a name on it, I am not concerned with it. And my front door hasnt seen a lot of action. That was a direct quote. Its a principle, a value. 2 years ago, I laid out the same principle. I asked people if you got something to say to me, dont tell my mom or go thru a 4th party, come to my door. And my door hasnt seen a lot of action. I honestly dont even think its personal. Their problem isnt with me or my Dad. Its with the principle or value. Since I was 7 years old, whenever I would make excuses for my life or talk about my drama, he would say shut your mouth. I dont care who did you wrong. Who drove by. Who broke up. I really dont give a shit and at the end of the day that stuff has zero to do with the core of you. Get 2 jobs. Do your very best to not bring your problems to me or your mom. And fix yourself. Its those simple principles people have a problem with. Not me as a person. Because actually living those principles is hard. Using another direct quote he said at my uncle Jeffs funeral some people need to grow up. Others need to get past their beefs from 20 years ago. I cant do that for them.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 15:59:17 +0000
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