My mathematics mark in +2 was 70 out of 200 :) Maths subject shaped my academic life so far. I failed in maths for the first time in standard 8, while studying in DAV. Our maths sir made us, those who failed in the subject to listen to his classes kneeling down, this continued for a month until the next test. I passed the subject with 43 out of 100 in 10 std. I changed my school from CBSE to state board, Ramkrishna Hr. Sec. School. Passed +2 with just pass mark in maths. My parents wanted me to join IT or Mechanical. I applied to Karunya University, like all the typical Christian families do :p They didnt even accept my application and returned it back with a pencil note not eligible citing my maths mark. I had that application until I finished my BTech elsewhere. We then visited Sathyabama University, where they explained the difficulties I would face in maths and offered me Biotech, Biomed & Bioinfo. My uncle (mothers elder brother) asked what do you wanna join nursing, biotech or bioinfo ? I joined Btech bioinformatics. My first class on first day of Btech was Mathematics :) I got 4 arrears in the 4 years everything related to maths. In the last semester I failed in a mathematical subject. I couldnt get the degree along with my friends. The 10k priced suit my mother got me for graduation went waste. I did attend the graduation of my friends with a huge smile :) wishing them success for future. It took another year for me to complete the arrear. I stayed at home listening to all the things parents should say, complain or shout at their failed son. Received the degree from my dept. all alone on a hot day the next year. Then came the question M.Tech in genetic engineering or biotechnology ? VIT or SRM ?. My mother gave these options. I chose MTech in Biotechnology at SRM since I want to be in Chennai, close to my activism. Their was not much difference between SRM & VIT. Here in the past two years I got 3 arrears, including 2 mathematics paper & 1 pharmaceutical biotech. Finished my Viva on project 2 weeks back but still got my last arrear paper next Thursday. I m sure I will pass this time. Dont think Ive shared only my failures here. I left out the nights I cried burying my face into pillow. Days when I really started believing that I am a failure, good for nothing. Days when my friends accused my activism for my failures. Days when I missed being normal as defined my friends. My mother worried that I dont like IT jobs or bio companies, my father still doubtful about me surviving this world, calling me useless with useless ideals. Here I am pushing forward, in spite of all these. I Started my search for any lecturer position in colleges around Chennai :) This is my failure story and will be always. I dont want them to define me success or being successful.
Posted on: Fri, 09 May 2014 13:43:36 +0000
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