My sister is 21 yrs old and only disclosed to us recently that she was raped by my brothe in law when she was 8/9 yrs old. We as a family do not know how to go about this issue. Her behaviour has change for the worse. She recently suffered a miscarriage and tried to commit suicide shorltly afterwards. We realised that she is depressed. Last week she started attending counseling bt she missed her second session today. We need assistance in helping her. She recently got a job bt Im afraid she might loose it before long. She stays away from work for no reason and stay away from home a lot to be with her good for nothing boyfriend who lives in his parents back yard. He demands her money and even her bank card. She does not have a phone cos her phone is used by him. If he loves her like he claims he does, she would not have missed her counseling session. Instead he should have encouraged and accompanied her, cos she has been with him since Saturday. She shuts us out and only alows us in when things literally backfires, like when she had the miscarriage. How do we support and assist her, and show her to take ownership of her life/future at the same time without being too harsh or allow her to manipulate us. Where do we draw the line? **************************************** Your sister is very lucky to have such a supportive family. Unfortunately you cant force her to go for counselling unless she really wants to but I would suggest you accompany her to this sessions. You dont have to sit in with her. You can just drop her off and make sure she attends them theyll be really good for her. On the boyfriend issue the more you try to tel her to leave this guy alone the more shell run to him. Set some boundaries. She is still living at home make her realise she can either follow the rules or rent her own place since she is working. Tel her you expect her to be at her home at a certain time and you wont compromise on that. And since she has so much money to waste tel her she should start making contribution around the household. Let her know that the next time she messes up you wont be around to clean up after her. Sometime people need some tough love and I know you are trying to be supportive but your sister will never learn to take responsibility for her action if you keep allowing her to play with your emotions.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 12:12:33 +0000
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