My son has been telling me that he is not autistic, lately, because some friends at school are telling him he is fine, just that his mom is abusive, and he believes them...Why? BECAUSE, MOM does not like how they treat him and MOM intervenes on phone conversations, sometimes taking the phone away etc. FUNNY, none of them have read any article, or book, on autism, and what a shame that my socially disabled son has to be continuously manipulated by peers at school, thinking he is wrong, or his mother is abusive, for restricting his life (as compared to theirs). He is constantly apologizing to them, giving to them, essentially doing ANYTHING to PLEASE them, and he sees nothing wrong with that, (but cries, and expects moms help, when he gets in trouble, doing something to please them) He thinks it is his choice to live this carelessly, and this manipulated, he doesnt see the consequences. I disagree. And the damn school does NOTHING about it. No one there intervenes, or coaches the disabled on good social skills. So what do we do? Ive actually had some therapists recommend natural consequences, like detentions and jails. (Yes, thats how far he is willing to go for pleasing others.) I think this is ludicris! I do NOT understand why people want to look at everything from the viewpoint of how it affects them, and how they benefit, instead of having enough empathy to put themselves in someone elses shoes. Would they want those consequences? Would those consequences teach them anything? If those kids had parents who knew what the conversations were about, would those parents become abusive for stepping in? In case anyone is not aware, my son has had behavior issues causing mental health interventions since the age of 4. He was diagnosed Bipolar Disorder at age 7, then later diagnosed as Aspergers syndrome at age 14, by qualified mental health professionals, not mom, not peers, or school personnel. The hallmarks of his behavior are anger outbursts, lack of understanding (and restraint) of other peoples boundaries (sometimes breaking laws), and he has learned the art of manipulation, so he sometimes appears above the law. Everyone wants to approach him with punishable consequences, not learned behavior interventions. Most people think he is this way INTENTIONALLY, but autism is about missing pieces to a complicated and intricate puzzle. IMO if we dont approach this from a thinking and behavioral perspective, we are ruining someones life, as well as, what allowing him to make his own mistakes would do. Autistics dont learn in the same way as neurotypicals. We can not expect the same results from them, as would come from others. Also, I have not seen much rehabilitating come from the court system, anyway, for neurotypicals, either. We desperately need a mental health system that is available 24 hours a day, not just one hour a month. And we need a public who is willing to understand, not judge. His friends need to be those who can understand, and be helpful, not use his disability for their entertainment.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 14:34:08 +0000
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