Next month Ill be graduating from my Advocacy Program and I am so grateful to have learned so many things. First of all, I have realized that my tenacity in life is a good quality. I plan to implement it as I work hard to impact the lives of children & families affected by a faulty system. But above all, I want to use that for systematic change. I have also learned ways to be more diplomatic, instead of hitting them verbally in the gut. No-one likes their dumb moves like Jagger to be called out. I also learned that no matter how hard some battles will be to fight I will never throw anyone under a bus to make my life easier. Which reminds of a story. At the beginning of my journey with Londons difficult dealings and ineptitude by the school/district I hired an Advocate. She was fired up to fight with my son. I had emailed her all emails/paperwork/proofs. When she was supposed to go observe my son in the class she arrived late and just in time for the meeting. Then she was completely chummy with all the individuals she had spoken about in a negative light moments before. At that moment my heart sank knowing what was to play out. She then left with the school districts psychologist to talk (I had Londons therapist there for support) I recall how she and I both looked at each other and communicated without words. Once she came back she was speaking loud enough for the school people to hear. We went into the meeting and basically I had to advocate for London and she was laughing at all the jokes about football and Londons therapist ended up speaking up. When we left I felt my insides crushed. Et tu Brute. She then began to act very chummy. So what did you think. I stayed very quiet and excused myself. The therapist had her eyes wide open and said, how do you feel? Confused I answered. What are you going to do she asked? Fire her. She called me the following day telling me the District was striking a take it or leave it deal. That she had called my clinician to discuss with her and it was alright to go ahead. The deal was to get London an eligibility on an disability he did not have. Im sorry I did not realize my son has turned into a bargaining chip. My son has three (3) neurological reports all with the same diagnosis by three (3) professional physicians who do not know each other (and I needed to be sure that he indeed was properly diagnosed.) Well, the school doesnt like you and this is what their offering because they can. So lets just take it and you can get McKay and go somewhere else. I replied that I could not accept those terms else I would be lying and doing my son a disservice. On top of that they wanted me to take the form to a Doctor and have it filled out, meaning that they wanted me to something dishonest and illegal. Not them. They simply used the Advocate as a pawn to deliver the message. That night I cried and meditated in that order a few times. What did I need to learn. How could London and I grow from this? I composed an email stating the reasons I no longer needed to be represented by her and I felt a slight breeze of worry knowing the burden would fall on me to fight alone again. I found an Advocate the following week. She went in and tried undoing a lot of the harm. When I called my Clinician to find out why she would agree to that she stated she had never consented. The Advocate I hired asked me why did I bring her in. She was excited to hear me annoy the school officials by diplomatically debating them and calling them out even when they made faces at me and everyone in the room was watching them make faces but everyone acted like nothing was happening. Lowering their eyes just like in grade school. I replied meekly, I dont know Disability Laws I simply know what is humanly fair to All People. She smiled a big smile. Beyssa, this here big bowl of hurt will turn into your big bowl of power one day. So you can help others, I promise you. When she said that I smiled on the outside with tears following on the inside but, I knew she was right. I could feel it. And you know what she was right. This is dedicated to the Advocate and School Officials that lowered there standards so I could raise mine.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Oct 2013 05:37:12 +0000
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