No one likes a bragger so please dont read this. In 2014 my new year resolution was to quit the gym. Yes, quit gym! It was tough at first, but by month three i was bustin buttons and blaming the missus for shrinking my darn clothes again!! She kept on shrinking em, then I discovered the cotton she used on the replacement buttons was sub-standard, I quickly rectified that with a military grade Kevlar weave, but that only exposed the flaws in the substandard buttons on my British branded Chinese made shirts which started cracking with frightening alacrity. The civil damages lawsuit brought by the guy on the Piccadilly tube line who took one in the eye has still to be settled. Despite these setbacks, I powered on relentlessly not exercising while consoling myself mainly with junk food to comfort me all the while shoehorning myself into an increasingly ill fitting wardrobe. Toward the end, admittedly, my arms had grown too weak to lift the 400 gram slab of cadburys to my mouth and eventually I was forced to invest in one of those choccie fountains, but I had a spout designed so it could reach me on the sofa. So I made it! What a year! What did I learn? Well I learned that I have incredible stamina, one time I endured a 2hr meeting sucking my gut in the whole time. I demonstrated impressive endurance, mainly for the fact that I burned out three choccie fountain motors, though one time was apparently because I blocked the pipes with the hazelnut version or some such twaddle. Like that engineer knows more about choccie fountain than me!! The other thing I learned, having just returned from my first gym session since 2013, is that I am incredibly unfit. Today, I was that pale-faced guy, head between legs, queasy sensation in the gut praying I dont do a reverse fountain right there in the weights room. Tomorrow there will Be significant and all encompassing stiffness, the consequence of muscles unused to shunting large quantities of lactic acid, apparently a by product of hard work. But its great to be back, I cant recommend fitness highly enough, and the (very) occasional choccie fountain. hehehe Oh and this was some sunset action I caught joggin back from gym. Hope to see you fitter in 2015, and for those fitness freaks not brave enough to go a year without. Just can it. We dont need you rubbing your superior fitness and minuscule body fat percentage in our only slightly fuller than usual faces.
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 16:58:15 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015