Not so long ago and not so far away, two identical, little boys were born just 2 days before the 4th of July, in an early, yet Star Spangled way. Truth is, it was electrically looking, sparkling stars and moon shapes in my eyes, that drove me to the hospital that day, much to our surprise. We were not expecting you both to come then; in fact , you both were 2 months premature but all of our love could not stop this event, heaven set you 2 to us, we are sure! Your brother was born blue, signaling a blessing that you both needed to come out. For without this early arrival, your brother would have lacked enough oxygen no doubt. I was so touched at the soft hearted way your father dubbed him ANGEL that day, that my heart saved the name I liked best for you, still we love to hear each of your names each, every day. We named you a strong name, meaning brotherly love, very sincere, genuine, full of bliss. I knew in my heart that you and God would approve. I knew in my heart of your deep abiding love, like an unending kiss. Those early days were hectic, so swift was our love for you, both. Without thinking twice about the effects of morphine and a C-Section, right out of surgery, as soon as I awoke, I put myself in a wheel chair and wheeled myself down to the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit, in delight, to see you both. Soon, I discovered that this move was so bold; in fact it was seen as rare. For many days, I really couldn’t even sit myself up (to my dismay), and that continued as the medicine within me went cold and finally went away. You were and are so lovely. You were and are so very grand, lovingly bold. I could only explain this feeling of having you both as a ‘mountain made out of pure, gleaming, gigantically shining, glimmering, priceless never-ending gold’. Surely, undeserving, I prayed and I cried and was told, that you two might not live for long. So the doctors said ‘just hold on and be brave’. You were identically 3lbs 10 ounces each and your story, it was yet to give way, on each and every passing day. We were there in the hospital every day, with you two, for 2 months… and as you know now, twice we were called back into the hospital to say good-bye to you, not knowing if it was true, somehow. We know now how much God had His right hand and left hand were right there with you, beneath, around, through and on top. This gave us comfort to see you thrive beyond all the times that our hearts nearly and completely stopped/dropped. The first time they pronounced your near demise was because both of your hearts would not work. They said they wouldn’t work well and only open heart surgery would make them continue. Death was a on a near lurch and almost within all our view! That night before the surgery, I went to a mass and right after communion I left the priest a note on the alter. He read it to the congregation to ask for prayers. It was so very serious, so very not a joke, so beyond all worries and cares. The next morning at the surgery time, I had to step back as two glass doors opened wide. A doctor and a nurse with beaming smiles raced out to see me because you and your brother contained a miraculous surprise. Your hearts were ‘now working strong’ they said, the surgery could wait.. and wait … and wait and wait it did, still you haven’t needed it to this date! Pg 2 So strong did this valve in you, bending wrong, make your heart work hard and still grows. Recently, you broke the ‘Heart Stress Test record’ in the Navy, your guardian angel must be laughing beyond what all of us knows. Still the second time we were called in to say good-bye to you, when you where were 3lbs small, both you and your brother’s stomachs blew up in size as if you had swallowed a huge, expanding ball. They told us you would never be able to eat any food, no never, no nothing, that’s it and that’s all. It was then that I gave you totally back to GOD, but this time completely, thanking Him for the short time we had, the blessed moments we had with you all. Did you know it was then that I let you both go to Him, completely, in heart, with no withdraw? I knew then what I know now about sacrificial love…. you, Angel and Him… love is miraculous and it’s tall. Without God OWNING you totally, it was clear, you would never really grow out of this trauma. With God all things became possible and He alone ruled it. My dear son, do you know of this I tell you? Did you know that since then, He alone owned you? Upon arrival again at the hospital I was made once again to be astounded. They said that the reason your brother’s belly was so large, was due to an aneurysm and for you the reason, …. they never found… it remains unfounded. Off to another hospital your tiny brother did go and true to your connection with him, throughout his surgery it is as if you really were connected once again. You stayed awake for 3 hours as they operated on him. For a preemie this was unheard of, unfound. It was then that your stomach too returned to normal and we laughed at this journey homebound. It was as if you had immense sympathy for your brother. It was as if you had really known. I respected this connection between you and him and kept real with it as both you did grow.. AND GROW AND GROW AND GROW you did, beyond leaps and bounds, somewhere near 6 Ft you both went leaving us with smiles all in focus, near the ground. As you grew you kept your ideals before you, always clearly in the fast lane. You even came home 2 weeks before your brother did but because of a dirty needle in the hospital, you went back in again. There you laid so very silent for 2 weeks, in an induced coma, without a sound. IT was so very serious then, you really did go gray. I thought in tears every moment in sorrow I surely would drown that way. What I didn’t realize is that you died and came back when the doctors took you away. We were so very thankful that you came back to us and that you are still alive, even today. The Red Cross brought your dad back home from being out to sea then. In a giant land- sea- vehicle after being helicoptered off his ship, he flew and still we give thanks to our Lord that even with dirty hospital needles, thanks be to God you did not die, you just grew! As you grew you kept your ideals and your tempo. You became quite good at skateboarding, adventures and songs. You really took the reins of life in front of you and your brother frequently enjoyed going along. I always knew of your tenderness, like the times that you wanted me to rock you and sing you a song. You had a way of laying on a pillow on my lap each time and even when you were old enough to grab your own pillow, we went along. I remember one time you were only about 2 and you must have needed a nap, you not only brought a pillow for you but you brought another one that you placed gently in the rocker, behind my back. Even before you could talk, you were always thinking about how others might feel. This talent is a gift from God, sometimes shockingly profound and ever so very real. One time your brother was doing something that no child ever should do. Quicker than anyone could stop him, he marched as if playing my flute with a pipe. He made a hole in the top roof of his mouth, in a circle, miraculously in sight, not completely threw and definitely not at all right. You cried and oddly he did NOT, with blood flowing down to his chin. We put the ice in your mouth on the way to the hospital because he didn’t want it but you did! You had the ice in your mouth as we went, as you whimpered then slowly whined. The reason you couldn’t explain to us, still you managed to make this trauma fly quickly by. WE were delighted to see that your empathy for your brother remains and for him he delights in it too… life was fine! As you grew, you made us proud all the time with choices to get up and go. You took life like a bull with two horns on the road and God protected and protects you now, of this we do know. You’re grown now and your smart . You are making us proud, serving our country of the red, white and blue. You qualified as a Navy Diver and work with Electricity on the Nimitz and still there is much more that you do that we’ll never see, too! You married a very beautiful woman and fathered two awesomely, wonderfully beautiful girls. You and your brother carried curls on your heads the best, so when your first daughter came forth with them, our hearts were a swirl! Your youngest is more than a twinkle, she is your energy through and through. Still your heart is reflected in both of them with empathy, love and all they dance, sing and do. You must know by now that we are completely biased when it comes to you and all of them. We are grafted together with you in a grip, in love anchored deep in our hearts, even God would not now, nor ever allow, this love to quit, through eternity from it’s momentous start. We are here for you and your family, love. Don’t doubt it and don’t ever fear. We are not perfect by any imagination but know this, in as much as love can be clear, we are here for you love and your family. Our love will always remain. Life can turn and be hectic and people may understand us or not, still, it is true, our love for you and your family remains. Take care of yourself, our wonderful, dear son. Know that you can count on us at any time, night or day; and even if we are lacking we will pick ourselves up again, right where we left off, as if without any refrain. Your story is still in the mist of being told, so I can only leave you with this very sincere prayer. God keep you safe, keep you kind, keep you filled up with love, always gentle and wise in your cares. I love you and also your dad loves you too. Take that to the bank and everywhere you go. Thank you for being the man that you are. We are very proud of you our dear son. We love you and your family always, surely this, you must know. Love, Mom
Posted on: Sat, 29 Jun 2013 07:52:18 +0000
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