Now for a good little creepy story... I got offline last night, per Jkcs advice to just rest. I turned on the tube of boobs. It was on the Travel Channel still from earlier. I cant stand most of the other channels. So I watched more Anthony Bourdain. Usually I watch his videos on YouTube--commercial free, but this time it was a show I hadnt seen before. It was good. Id LOVE to have his job. Then I saw another show called Booze Traveler about this guy, Jack, originally from Boston, who travels the globe checking out, and enjoying...well...booze! Talk about another job that totally WOULDNT suck. Ha! By the end of that show, I was ready to turn in. Now, mind you, I *was* staying at the Kings Inn in Conway, AR. I am *now* at the Motel 6 in the same town. And, ahhh, heres why... I shut off the lights and climbed into my beddy. I realized that Id left my watch on the desk across the room. So I turned the light back on and stumbled over to retrieve it, so I would have an alarm in the morning. The room was - I wont sugar-coat it - dirty, greasy, full of gaps to the outdoors, holes along the floor, painted with accidentally oily hand prints. The sink counter top in the bathroom looked as though someone had ripped it clean off the wall at some point. Then, in a half-assed attempt to rent the room again, it seems to have been drilled right through the thin marble top, sheet rock screwed directly back on top of the frame and then hastily sealed with about four tubes of silicone filler. The amount filler itself was probably more expensive by that point, than the counter top. The heater/air conditioner unit had obviously had a rough life, with stories to tell, were it only able to speak. The grill had been pulled out, with the plastic frame making that college try to come out just behind it, and then the entire unit was (and Im not kidding) masking-taped back on to the metal shelf that once proudly held it all together. I had looked for the cheapest places I could on Google the day before. Google Map has issues with real slimy motor inns. It lists all the major companies with red dots, descriptions, reviews, and directions. But these little places just get a pale orange bed symbol, and when clicking on it, simply restate the name already shown, with no further information. Word to the wise trekker. If you want to go REAL cheap, you have to walk around the town. Thats how I found Kings Inn. Not sure who the King was, but he must have commissioned this place during a famine and plague of roaches. Speaking of roaches... ;-) There I was ready for a long winters nap, pawing around for my watch on a desk littered with Tylenol wrappers, McDonalds coffee receipts, an empty jar of nacho cheese and a half open bag of the nachos that never had a chance to be cheesed. I went to close the bag more tightly and out jumped natures most entertaining of the insects: a roach. He (or she?) wasnt very big, but there was no denying that little distinctively roachy look. Freaking out, even more than I was, he darted - all the while not able to grab the smooth surface of the desk--like an old pickup truck on an icy lake, trying to escape the gaze of a police helicopter - from a receipt, to a pile of change, then back to the bag--which apparently he had forgotten was the plan that screwed him up in the first place. Then, realizing his repeated mistake, practically jumped as I came at him with the plastic motel cup. Now I know humans often get a big thrill out of killing anything with more than four legs. Theres that feeling of revenge. He was in my chips!! He MUST now pay the ultimate price. Im not a Buddhist, but I dont kill any animal who is just doing its own instinctual thing; not on purpose anyway. Even the fire ant in PA that got caught in my shirt and ran around my chest and shoulders stinging me got to live, once I shook out my shirt. Plus, killing THIS roach would have made a disgusting, greenish-brown splat that I would then have to wipe up. I got him in the cup and put my hand over the top. I walked over to the window and pulled the screen open, tossing him out into the night. I searched for a good half hour for all holes along the bottoms of the walls, then duct taped each one. I looked high and low in the bedroom, then the bathroom, then behind the dressers and microwave/fridge table. There were no hiding places left to explore. I felt pretty confident and then went back to bed. I know the cliche as well as anyone, that if you see one there are a thousand you dont see. But if I could just make it through the night with a no-contact agreement between myself and these wriggling little bastards, I could find another place to stay the next night (tonight, actually). I finally climbed back into the bed and turned off the light again. I fell asleep quickly and had a restful, but dreamless snooze. I was not sure why, but at about 3:15 am I woke up. Staring out the window at the orange street light through a crack in the curtain, I considered taking the opportunity to piss, rather than being my usually lazy self and waiting until my bladder begins to say Im justa gonna do this thing whether youre involved or not dude!! And as I reached for the light switch, I felt something on my hand move from one finger to the next... What the....!!!! My instinct was to take my other hand and wipe whatever it was off on to the floor, which, accordingly I did with lightening speed. Then I turned the light on and ran around the bed looking for where it may have landed. Roaches I could ALMOST deal with, but...bed bugs? No deal! Angry, mostly because I just wanted to finish the night there and move on, I - with expletives flying in every direction - tore the bedspread off, separated the sheets, pulled the dirty little pillows out of their clean pillow cases and checked every single seem and weave for hiding bed bugs (which can be anything from 1/16 to 1/4 wide). NOTHING. I felt a little bit better. Then I went to work on the mattress and box springs. The bed was resting on a solid wooden frame, so they couldnt be under it. Not fully convinced it wasnt one of my earlier roach friends Marine brothers trying not to leave even one of them behind, I re-checked my duct taped barrier. It was in place. It bothered me that I could not find the insect that had been on my hand. Both species are especially good at hiding. I was getting tired again and sick of this Starship Trooper game. I clicked on the laptop and did a bed bug search for Kings Inn, Conway, AR. There it was! I clicked it and??? No reported incidents at this location. I felt a little better but, with a tendency for insomnia and a realization that all my stuff would have to be packed up early so I could get-the-hell over to another place, weighed on my mind. Another night with little sleep seemed inevitable. And that is exactly what happened. I arranged the blankets back on the bed, stuffed the damn pillows back in their hopefully-clean cases and boldly, no HEROICALLY, climbed back in. Of course I didnt sleep. It was already 4:00 am, and every time I began to slip into unconsciousness Id jerk awake and look around the bed--now purposely illuminated by the fully-open curtain and the big orange street light that bathed the entire crime scene. I decided not to mention any of this to the nice Hindu couple who ran the place, and just dropped off my key in the morning, glad to be moving on. I walked to the Motel 6 and checked in. It was even less expensive! $37.99 plus tax and a $2.99 fee per day for WiFi. Yes there is no fridge and microwave, but the place is as clean as a pharmaceutical laboratory, smelling of fine air fresheners, with - ta da! - NO stains on the wall, no cracks around the fixtures, no holes eaten through at the floor level. Basically?: heaven. :-) I might have to stay here a couple of days to wait for my meds. Thankfully, many of you have really come through in the last few days with contributions. It has seriously lessened the stress I had been feeling and revivified me. It will also allow me to catch up with the blog transfers. I love to work, but I cant do it if Im simply trying to survive all the time. Now - for a while anyway - my work can continue. Somewhere in that dark room I left behind is a little army of critters gumming up their feet and mouth parts with duct tape goop, in a desperate attempt to get back into the room for the Nacho bonanza I left in the trash can. God knows the room probably wont be touched for another few days anyway. And Im hoping that my bed companion was NOT a bed bug, but simply an errant roach looking for companionship on a late December night. Maybe he will help his siblings get back into the room? Like Malcolm said in Jurassic Park, Life always finds a way... Sweet Dreams! :-D
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 22:01:42 +0000
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