Now that you are The President Good evening Your Excellency. It’s been quite a while. We have both been very busy lately. You know how things work in a pinky period. Finally, we can all heave a sigh of relief. May I on behalf of all unsolicited advisors, say warm congratulations to you on this victory. Must have been a very orgasmic moment for you, innit? I have been observing proceedings from far away Biyaville. Your Excellency, now that you are The President, it is time to celebrate. I know you have hit the ground long time, but it’s taking you a while to start running. I beg, no need to be in a rush at all. Now you are in charge, large and supremo. Implementation of GYEEDA report recommendations can wait. First of all, immediately, let’s organize some victory party with some of the money we are taking back from Efo Agbeshi and his Water-village friends. I hear he was seen around the Jubilee Flag Staff House in white cloak jubilating after Uncle Willie dropped the gavel? What was he celebrating? Please oo, somebody should tell him we go take our money oo. Make eno do am say if e come celebrate with us norr we go forget, e lie bad. Ehee, as I was saying, this party doesn’t have to be expensive at all. Let’s fly a few inner-circle members (and maybe a few Vickie-like ass-sets??) to Madibaland for a week. We can say you are going for a medical check-up. After all, having endured all these tensed pinky months, you need to have your heart examined, or? Make we chill small. Onipa nso y3 de3n? y3 b3 wo nti y3n da? While there, you can give directives for those behind to organize national prayer and thanksgiving for the ‘nation’. They don’t need to go to Israel. Black Star Square should suffice. Your Excellency, as we take the time off to do a few things, you can be thinking of such distractions as whether or not the allowances of teacher trainees should be scrapped. You know what? My candid opinion is this. Let’s scrap it. We can use the cash we will accumulate from that to beef up the sitting allowances of the members of the ECG and Ghana Library boards (you know those guys are fantastic performers), and still have some cash to finance the further studies of siting ministers of state, particularly the ones pursuing Law. If we still have some change left, we can put it away in preparation for 2016. Don’t forget the Elephant family people have learnt the ropes very well now and ‘they no go sit down make you cheat them every day’. The position of Polling Agents will come at a huge cost in the next election. We need cash if you must enjoy another funky time in the JFSH; you get what I mean? As for potential teacher trainees, if they won’t go to the Colleges of Education because there is no allowance, don’t even bother your head over them. After all, there is a way of making BECE candidates pass their exams without necessarily completing the syllabi. And I hear university teachers are threatening strike action again? Let them go and sleep. What at all do they want? Is it because the babies with sharp teeth are earning more than them a few years after leaving university? It’s a choice we all make, right? If they like, they should pick up forms and join the Dramanic Charismatic Choir (DCC). A few serial phone calls into Radio Gold and Peace Fm morning show programmes, and bingo, they will be bagging as much, if not more. If they don’t want to taint their hands, they should shut the heck up laa, tso. Nukae dzor haaa?? Ehee, one last thing, Your Excellency, do you have any plans to sort out Nana? The man try paa oo. But the thing dey look like it’s not written in his stars to chop omanhene. You no go fit invite am make e come chop some two weeks for the ahenfie? At least, his soul will be truly satisfied before he makes a triumphant entry into glory someday. What do you say? I have not been to Kumasi in a while, but I have been in touch with the boys in Katanga. They say to say to you, “Rest Not; we have been watching and we shall keep watching” So long, Worla.
Posted on: Fri, 30 Aug 2013 11:36:51 +0000
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