ORDERING PIZZA IN 2010 This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2010 that were not sure how funny this really is... Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number? Customer: Hi, Id like to place an order. Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir. Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, its 6102049998-45-54610. Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is sheehan¡home.net. Which number are you calling from sir? Customer: Huh? Im at home. Whered you get all this information? Operator: Were wired into the HSS, sir. Custo mer: The HSS, what is that? Operator: Were wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time. Customer: (sighs) Oh well, Id like to order a couple of your All Meat Special pizzas. Operator: I dont think thats a good idea, sir. Customer: Whaddya mean? Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that youve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider wont allow such an unhealthy choice. Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then? Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza.Im sure youll like it. Customer: What makes you think Id like something like that? Operator: Well, you checked out Gourmet Soybean Recipes from your local library last week, sir. Thats why I made the suggestion. Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is ¤49.99. Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number. Operator: Im sorry sir, but Im afraid youll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit. Customer: Ill run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here. Operator: That wont work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also. Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. Ill have the cash ready. How long will it take? Operator: Were running a little behind, sir. Itll be about 45 minutes, sir. If youre in a hurry you might want to pickem up while youre out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward. Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter? Operator: It says here youre in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repoed. But your Harleys paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday. Customer: Well, Ill be a #%#ÜÜ&¤%ܤ¡# Operator: Id advise watching your language, sir. Youve already got a July 4, 2005, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge Oh yes, I see here that you just got out@ #danzaria
Posted on: Thu, 12 Jun 2014 11:19:12 +0000
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