Oh GREAT! Unfortunately when something comes to me, I cant help but share. This might ruffle a few feathers, but I feel it is important. I am not trying to attack anyone as I am extremely supportive of women, but this is merely something I have observed and am concerned about, so here we go….weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! So….Anyone can end up with a narcissist, but it tends to be people who are more developmentally dependent due to their own narcissistic family system upbringing. This is why in recovery we do all kinds of developmental work :) Of course men end up with narcissists all the time, but the classic case is a more dependent woman with the raving narcissistic man. Unfortunately some of the worst victim blaming I have seen comes from other women! They see these women struggling in these abusive relationships and despise their weakness. They criticize these women for not being bra burning, ultra empowered, assertive, no nonsense, kick-ass, feminists wiping their men into shape - kicking them out on their asses at the first sign of chauvinism or disrespect. Often these women in abusive relationships with narcissists are coming from patriarchal families where they havent been allowed to assert themselves due to their gender. They have been dismissed and sent to do womens work. They werent supported in their academic pursuits or dreams. They were raised to be traditional stay-at-home moms who put their husband first. Now first I want to clarify that obviously there is nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom. This is extremely important work! There is also nothing wrong with having a more traditional relationship regarding roles as long as there is mutual respect, support and feedback. But when you are dealing with this type of situation with a narcissist, there tends to be a lot of abuse. The narcissist wants to keep the woman in her place BECAUSE of her gender. His whole purpose in life is to beat her down, cause her to be a door mat, strip her of any identity she had started to establish, force her to stay at home and be the family servant while he is off doing whatever the hell he wants. Many of these women are suicidal. Did you know that? These women are barely hanging by a thread and have a lot of shame. If this is you, get some help! Call a local womens crisis center, reach out to a friend…you are not meant to be a slave and you deserve to learn how to care for and nurture yourself. You were not designed to be a door mat. I also encourage women to support each other! We need each other. A lot of women are still raised to be very dependent and it isnt their fault if they dont know how to deal with this. They need help and support, not disdain and smirking. Im sure none of you do this, but Im talking big picture here :) Can you imagine women supporting each other regardless of politics, religion or socio-economic back ground? I would love to see this change, but bringing awareness is at least a place to start. Just thought I would bring this up. Dependent women need love, understanding and support. We love you!
Posted on: Wed, 20 Nov 2013 23:37:41 +0000
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