Ok so here is an update on the recent Math Support caper at my daughters school: To recap: In late September, early Oct. I refused Math Support for my daughter-who at that time had a 76/C in math and all As and Bs in other subjects. I secured a private math tutor to help her a bit with concepts, and asked the school principal that she be allowed to attend chorus/music class (something she excels at) in lieu of Math Support. I was told by that principal that the district required students to be proficient in math, that her math support placement was based on 5th, 6th and 7th grade PSSA scores-and that she was not permitted to remove Lauren from math support. I told her that as her mother, I WAS permitted to remove her. I put this in writing on Oct. 9. (My reasons for declining this service is that she has been in support for the past 2 years and still has a C average in math-in fact last year her grade actually dropped for the last quarter - and it would also prevent her from attending music class-an activity that she loves and excels at.) New Developments: On October 21, I received a letter - hand delivered by my daughter-from the principal, that again stated that the district required students to be proficient in math, and that my daughters math support placement was based on 5th, 6th and 7th grade PSSA scores-and my daughter qualifies for additional support. (At this point her grade was up to a 79/C-as it is today-just one point from a B.) This letter went on to acknowledge that I was declining services, and declared that they would require my daughter to attend math support if at any point we end the tutoring services. I was asked to sign and return the letter-which I would have done if not for the requirement clause. I was in the process of amending this form before I sign and return it. They asked my daughter for the letter the next day, she said I was looking it over. A day later I dropped off some clothing in the office for a needy family-and the principal & secretary were both there. The principal walked away back into her office, and the secretary asked me if Lauren gave me the letter, and I told her (politely) yes-I did not forget and that I was looking it over, and would get it back to her in a few days. My daughter tells me that in spite of this acknowledgement, they called her to the office each an every day last week, and this week to ask her about the letter-and that the math support teacher has also asked her every day about the letter. She told them to call me. Yesterday: My daughter went to the office at 8:15 AM to do morning announcements & was met with a nagging secretary (yes-the SECRETARY) and vice principal who BOTH proceeded to threaten her with detention & removal from the cheer squad for not bringing this letter back-signed. (YES-the SECRETARY.) NOTE: No one contacted me directly to ask me when I would be sending that in, since the day I brought the clothes in and spoke directly to this same secretary. As if this was not bad enough-my daughter broke down crying in Social Studies-left to go to guidance-(counselor was supportive) and was met with Vice principal who asked her Oh-are you here because of me?? which intimidated her even more. (She was not there entirely because of what transpired. As it turns out Laurens grandmother is extremely ill-possibly terminally-and Lauren is trying to not dwell on the fact of how sick she is. The added pressure over this stupid letter just pushed her emotions over the edge and she broke down.) To add further distress, in what I view as purely a spite move, the principal e-mailed the music teacher and told her that Lauren was Not permitted to attend music class until she brought back the paper that I was asked to sign. (Lauren went to her last period class, and was told by the music teacher. She had to sit in her homeroom and read a book instead. Her homeroom/science teacher is fantastic-and Thank goodness he was understanding and supportive to her.) NOTE: I was still not contacted about this letter-(although I was contacted back when I first refused Math Support). The principal chose instead to use, intimidate and manipulate my child to get me to respond. My daughter put up with this sh*t all day from staff-nagging, threatening, bullying, and intimidation-she never called me for help-she went and cheered at her football game with a smile on her face-and then at 5:15 PM - NINE HOURS after this all started, she finally told me what had happened. I turned the car around and went back to school-and its probably a GOOD thing that the office was closed. I was up till 5 AM this morning typing yet another another letter to this principal. I need your input/insight: And I do understand that these are the events as only I have experienced them-but I need some perspective. I have initially asked for an apology to my daughter from each of the involved parties-as well as for her free period music class to be restored without interruption-and a cease and desist from any further discussion with my child about my decision to refuse math support OR math support in general or paperwork regarding math support that they want to be signed. But now how do I now proceed? How would you proceed if you were the parent? Rectify it quickly and move forward until it comes up again? or involve a higher authority? My MAIN concern is my daughters emotional well being-her sense of safety, trust and security as she moves through this very difficult time in her life. She just turned 14 and is working hard in school, at friendships and really just wants to go to school and be left alone with the stupid stuff as she calls it. As angry as I am, and as tempting as it is for me to make a very loud and dramatic point by being spiteful, that is not the road a want to take. With that being said, I have no more confidence that this school has the students best interest at heart. If administrators would stoop so low as to bully a child-and to use this sort of adolescent tactic to try and manipulate a parent, instead of communicating with that parent in a professional manner - then in what other ways would they try to frighten/ intimidate/ threaten my child? I would home school her right now-but she has explicitly stated that she does not want to home school. Could use some perspective! Thank you in advance!
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 16:26:22 +0000
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