Okay, so I just got out of my fourth shower of the day. Its a bit after 1:10 p.m. as I sit here, licking my wounds (literal and figurative). I spent a few hours with someone the other day who started in on me about my OCD. Ill call him Mr. Expert. Mr. Expert said to me all of the many things Ive heard so often: You should just work through it. Its not difficult to control once you know how. The best way to deal with it is to face it and force it. You just need church. Yeah, well that was all well and good... and boring. Those who truly understand OCD know that, although some of the stuff we OCDers do IS quite funny sometimes, its usually the farthest thing from being funny to us. Often there is absolutely no sense, nor reason, to our actions. Were not stupid. We know that a lot of what we do is completely ridiculous. And you know what? That makes it even more distressful. So, here I sit, trying to let my body cool off from the hot, hot water. And Im getting a knot on my forehead. The shower water, although it didnt feel like it to me, was actually TOO hot for a human body, and I suddenly got extremely dizzy. No biggie. It happens a lot. But this time it hit really hard and as I put my hand on the shower/tub wall to brace myself, my soapy palm just slid forward and I lost my balance. I banged my forehead on the back of the shower/tub. I had to twist and immediately sit down or fall all the way out onto the bathroom floor. I really rang my bell again, thats for sure. And yes, I said, again. This is far from the first time this has happened. So now I get to make sure I dont fall asleep any time soon, just in case. If the ringing in my ears doesnt stop (its already getting a lot better) Ill have to go to the ER. I dont like to do that for something like this because, a) the staff there usually looks at me like Im stupid; and b) all they do is have my lie there for a few hours, under observation, then slap me on my ass and send me home. A few days later I get a bill for a couple thousand dollars. So, well... no. Im fine for now. I know when to get taken in for a look-see. Just a request: The next time you (general, not specific) laugh at someone with OCD for something odd or weird or whatever, please... please realize that most of the time it really isnt funny. The mental distress caused by the behaviors, and by not completing the behaviors, is really, really close to a complete mental breakdown. Imagine feeling like that several times a day. Rant over. Thanks for listening. ~curt
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 20:25:34 +0000