On Moonday of this week, one of my closest friends killed himself. He served in the military for 13 yrs. He had a number of human kills that would fill your all fingers and toes but one. I could not imagine what it is like to take a human life and continue living your own. PTSD is no joke, and is a very hard disease for the outside observers to understand. Im going through the waves of sadness, anger, compassion, guilt, love, gratitude, and inspiration..... This loss hits really close to home. Im a survivor of PTSD, anxiety, and depression. 7.5 yrs ago I plummeted 24 feet backwards head first which resulted in severe body damage and head trauma. I was told by my doctors because of the head injury that I would be medicated for life with anti-anxiety and antidepressants. They helped me the first yr, then plateaued, then took me for the most horrifying trip of my life that resulted in a 5 yr uphill self battle. Im writing this because Im inspired by the loss of my dear friend. Im a survivor, and he is not. There are alternative methods of rehabilitation for PTSD, anxiety, and depression. These alternative methods to pharma have been given to us by nature and in most cases illegal here in america and other parts of the world primarily for greed. The suicide of my close friend has left me with a natural guilt of what could I of done more? I was in Santa Fe this summer for my daughters graduation and stayed there for a month and a half. I took 20 Mdma capsules with me, he and I swallowed them every Friday night till they were gone. We had deep conversations about women, love, music, religions, philosophies, art and his experiences in life that I rather not share. These compounds break boundaries that ego builds to protect a false self, they also open up heart chakra, they create an open vulnerability to truth and veracity, veracity of self, compassion. He had called me a few weeks ago telling me he was gonna blow his head, I pleaded for he to go for a walk and I found someone to spend time with he till he got his bearings back. When he did, I then pleaded for him to come live with me. I expressed that I had a job for him lined up and he didnt need to pay rent or need to bring anything. I also expressed that I would go to the amazon and do Ayahuasca treatments with he. It never happened and now hes gone. This loss has inspired me to continue my advocacy of these chemical compounds of experience and boundary dissolution. 22 vets commit suicide everyday. This is preventable, I know, Im living proof. We all know veterans around us, or friends or family that suffer from ptsd, anxiety, and depression. Theres help out there, it starts with your compassionate understanding/s and willing to just listen with an open heart. If any of you have any questions for me or would like any links on these new studies, pls dont hesitate to message me. Today, Im off for a cycling trip up the coast. I will eat 2.5 grams of Psilocybin mushrooms followed by another 2.5 g later as my legs find the rhythm of my heart. I will listen to music and stop when I see certain trees and flowers. If Im gonna be an advocate, I have to continue my personal healing and experience cataloging. If Im not home by dinner, that means either I tore the hymn of the universe of deeper self, or Im on the canada u.s. border. This ride is for your Jeremy Michael Gimmey Jeremy Michael Radovik, namaste, I love you brother.
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 20:41:19 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015