On The VERY Last Day Of My Youth Department: Subtitled... Everybody knows that 60 is the new 40 (except those who are ACTUALLY 40 and I assume they know this is absolute B.S.), but can you get away with thinking that 65 is the new 35? Notes to Myself on Approaching Middle -Age: 1. Quit motorcycle gang. Investigate shuffleboard. 2. Sell Harley (see #1 above) Buy Minivan 3. Even though retirement is many decades away, start putting away some bucks for the Golden Years. Consult Bernie Madoff. 4. Time to settle down. Ask the beautiful Leonora Gerda Van Waalwijk Van Doorn to marry me. Time to make her an honest woman. 5. Establish job stability. Stop always hopping around from job to job. 6. See if you like prunes. 7. Determine whether Cialis or Viagra works better. Ask wife (see #4 above) 8. Tell kids to stop asking for money. (see #3 above) 9. Have mid-life crisis. 10. Deny you have grandchildren. I think this a pretty complete list so far. And, I must say, the nice thing about turning 35 is that the beautiful Leonora Gerda Van Waalwijk Van Doorn gets to be 29 again. And the truth be known, 80% (at least) of the 29 year olds wish they could look as good as Nora does now. THAT natural beauty can almost pull off being 29. (((and often she does))) I am a real fortunate 35 year old guy.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 13:21:04 +0000
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