On this Christmas Eve I want to share an email sent to me from a very good friend of mine who has taught me many things about family and Business. His daughter lost her husband this year and this morning she reflected on things. Its kind of long but worth reading. Makes me appreciate family and friends that I get to spend time with before we leave for our next journey. Merry Christmas. .................................................. Merry Christmas! I thought I would share just one more update on Dan this Christmas morning. It’s kind of weird to me this morning as I write this that I kind of miss sending these updates on Dan. I think what I really miss is the feeling of hope and belief that we could still beat this as well as fact when I wrote these many times he was sleeping right here next to me. How I wish that could still be the case physically, yet I know and believe deep in my heart that he is still here right next to me and thought I would share what I believe he has been up to this past 6 months. There has been no question I think in my mind and likely any of our minds that Dan has been duck hunting every day as my belief is in heaven there is no waiting until Fall and that it is legal to duck hunt anytime of the year now for him and I know he does every single day. I know it is difficult to duck hunt without a dog and believe that is a big reason why we got to keep Dutch for another 6 weeks after Dan passed away before Dan and Dutch too decided that it was important for them to be together again and I do take great comfort knowing they are together as they were the best of buddies and Dutch was always wherever Dan was. I know he was there for Riley for her first day of high school and celebrating as much as we did when she earned a spot on the Freshman volleyball team as well as new Club team recently. She fought so hard to earn these spots in so many ways even going to a contact day 2 days after Dan passed away and still attended overnight camp at UW Whitewater 5 days after his funeral which I know was so very hard for her yet too believe having volleyball to focus on has helped her in so many ways in coping with things these past 6 months. I know he enjoyed being at Jacks Cross Country meets and Fall Baseball games as well as every one of Riley’s volleyball games this season and not having conflict of having to miss with being in middle of duck hunting season. I know he was there helping cheer Riley and her team on to Conference Champs for the first time in many many years. There is no question in my mind that he really was there for Jack on his first day that he could legally hunt during the youth hunt this year. Weather was incredibly warm and heard many others didn’t see too much flying yet Jack who went hunting that morning with our good friend Brian shot his limit of 5 ducks and 2 geese I believe before 9:30AM. That is pretty amazing shooting on Jack’s part but I knew from all the stories from Dan over the years that there had to be more ducks flying and had to be a morning like almost no other he has ever shared with me for Jack to have been able to have limited out like that. I know Dan was like a kid in a candy store and that he very much had a hand in making sure there was a ton flying over Lake Poygan that morning and helping Jack calling all those ducks in. I believe Dan has been a great benefit to us watching over our puppy Wing getting full run of the house while we are gone at work and school and not having to be caged in his kennel anymore. I believe that he has helped make sure he hasn’t’ gotten into anything to major other than chewing up my rugs in the mud room at times. Although, clearly Dan must have been busy hunting the day Wing decided to eat the Tee Pee’s off of Jack’s Indian project and then proceeded to get sick in his crate in my car about 6 times on the way to Door County that night. I was slightly annoyed with all the clean up involved in this but at least we were all laughing about it. I remember Dan saying to me the day we came home from his last hospital visit and asking me if it was crazy that he still wanted to get well enough to also make this Canada hunting trip he had planned with some of his good friends. I truly treasured the story Dan’s friend Rick Renard shared with me upon his return from the trip to Canada and that he never ever had such an amazing hunting trip and that he too felt that Dan was there with him the entire time. If I recall right they shot over 70 birds between 2 guys with the majority being diver ducks which were Dan and Rick’s favorites and I know in my heart Dan had a hand in that and truly enjoyed every moment of that trip. I know Dan is in our everyday lives and watching out for us in little ways all the time. Jack and I were driving in Pewaukee to his baseball practice about a month ago and it was early evening and dark out already and I asked Jack if I had ever told him story about when I got hit by a deer on this road. He told me I had not so I shared the story with him that I was driving my Toyota Celica at the time which I shared Dan called the Go Cart. Told him how this huge 8 to 10 point buck hit me just behind the driver side window. As we were approaching the spot and I told him it happened right about here. I see something out of the corner of my eye and quickly flick on my brights just as as 8 or 10 point buck darts out right in front of my truck. Weird isn’t it. Even Jack looked at me and said oh my gosh Dad! The kids and I have also come to notice that we see hawks all the time now. Not that unusual it would seem except it has seemed a little odd that we have had about 8 or more times now had a hawk dart right across the front of my car. Sometimes they happen when I am by myself but majority of the times at least one of the kids is with me. We have likely had more than 20 hawk sightings in past 6 months which to me isn’t that big of deal except the number of times one has darted right in front of my truck has caused us to take notice of it and we have come to treasure when it does happen. It has not been easy coping these past 6 months without Dan here with us anymore but we continue to be touched by the signs that we believe he is showing us that he really is still here with us right by our sides just like he always has been and know he always will be. I just hope the signs keep coming and that they never fade. I have found that I have a more heightened awareness of seeing husbands and wives, or fathers having little moments with their sons or daughters. I miss that more than I ever imagined I could. I also notice to the marriages and family moments of others that aren’t so great. Makes me realize more than ever and makes me more grateful than I was even before as to the special gift we were given in our marriage and with Riley and Jack together. Unfortunately, I have come to know not everyone gets what we were given and I wish with all my heart that it could have been so much longer for us but I continue to be ever so grateful that we have gotten the experience we have had as a family and know it is a true blessing that I and Riley and Jack will treasure for a lifetime. I also wanted to share that I have come to know what I miss the most about Dan is not any of the things he bought for me or any of the many bigger things we did together. What I truly miss the most is all the little mundane things we shared. I miss falling asleep next to him at night. I miss seeing the reminder notes he would write for me at times and just seeing his handwriting, I miss the moments when the kids would be goofing around together and we would look at each other and both smile and no words necessary and just enjoying the moment of our family finding happiness together. I share this as I hope all of you take the time to enjoy these little moments with your families. They go by way too fast and I know we are all so busy with our jobs, school , kids sports schedules etc but I think we all need to be more present in the moments with our spouses and kids and believe we will all be much happier people if we take the time to do this both for ourselves and for our kids. Before you know it they are taking those next leaps in their life and when you look back these are the things that will matter to you the most. I hope you are able to take the time to be more present in them and find joy in them. These past few months I have tried to make a bigger commitment myself to actively practice being more grateful. I read somewhere recently that there is no joy in ones life without actively practicing gratitude. I try to practice gratitude many times a week currently and hoping to get it to be an everyday practice to think about the things I am grateful for that day. Sometimes its been bigger things but the more I do it the more I am realizing I am most grateful for all the little things. Many things I didn’t always notice I think and just took for granted sometimes. Our priest did a homily a few weeks ago about people in our lives that have comforted us during tough times. He asked us to close our eyes and think of that person and say their name out loud in our heads. I felt truly blessed as I didn’t’ have just one name that came to mind but I had so many from family & friends to coworkers and customers. I so appreciate all the cards, emails, texts and phone calls. I try to reply to all of them but sometimes just can’t but I want you to know that I do see and get all of them. Many times I will be in the middle of something when I come across them and many times they just take my breath away and bring tears to my eyes at your thoughtfulness and that so many of you continue to think about us and continue to pray for us. We continue to be very blessed and thankful to have so many wonderful people in our lives. Many blessings to each of you and hope this is a very special Christmas for you and your families. Love, Dan & Kim
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 16:54:57 +0000
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