One of my children who shall remain nameless but for simplicity sake let’s call him Nelson :) has been somewhat argumentative this last week. It’s the end of term, I get it - he’s tired. So I’m picking my battles and trying to stay lighted rather than exhausting myself fighting like cat and dog. You see the thing is... Nelson loves to argue (hell even tell you this), for him it’s like a sport and he runs rings around any win/win parenting strategy. Indeed I learn from his strength and clarity everyday. It’s a good thing he’s so damn loveable and divine because I’ve lost count how many times I’ve thrown in the towel on “active listening” with him and simply threatened to put him on e-bay - another holistic parenting gem for you! Of an evening when I tell Nelson he is my favourite 12 year old son :) we sometimes talk about the other compounding factor which is that at present - he finds it incredibly hard to apologise. So much so that at times he looks like he’s physically in pain when he says the words, “IIII’mm sssorry.” Now Im one for transforming habits that no longer serve us and I find this current habit of Nelsons incredibly funny. We have talked about it, Nelson can see the lunacy of his predicament and has asked for some cues or reminders that he may like to choose differently. So multiple times now I have either: - pretended to be hard of hearing when he apologises, smiling all the while - forcing him to repeat his blather until it’s said clearly - or if I am sitting beside him when he’s apologising to one of his brothers I whisper so they can’t hear me, “Are you okay Nels? Did that like - burn your tongue?” or “Did you just get some vomit in your mouth when you said that? Do you need a glass of water?” Yesterday was the highlight though...
Posted on: Wed, 03 Dec 2014 02:22:12 +0000