One year. It is hard to fathom that for 365 days we have been living without Orion. As I look back, I am proud of how far we have come since those initial days of raw pain and suffering. We still have a long road, but I am so happy, and even feel very blessed, to have made it this far. My heart has been very full these passed few days. I have laid in bed, unable to sleep, and cried tears of gratitude. I feel so much gratitude to my Heavenly Father for protecting Orion and for taking care of us, who are left behind. He has blessed us with the most loving family, friends, and neighbors. We have been on the receiving end of incredible amounts of support, prayers, sacrifice, service, and love. We have been so loved! We couldnt have made it this far without. I am so grateful! I have felt lifted during this heightened time of grief and I can feel that we are being prayed for. I wanted to share the beautiful tribute that was created by the talented Brittani Goodman. She did such an amazing job. I can hardly watch it without breaking down in anguish, it is still so fresh. These are memories of our sons short 11-years. Our precious baby that we helped create. We held him close, and loved him with all that we had. I remember, at times, that I was frightened by how much I loved this boy. I knew that, when he was born, he had opened a door in my heart that could never be closed. This door allowed me into a world where I could feel intense love and joy. But, the opposite was also true - I was vulnerable to heartbreak and suffering if I ever lost him. That frightened me, as it does every parent. My worst nightmare has come true and I wish things were different. But, I would never change being Orions mom in order to save myself from this heartache and separation. He is ours. I am SO blessed that I get to be his mom. I cant wait to be with him again. Until that time, I have pictures and memories. We love you forever and ever, Orion!
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 22:17:11 +0000
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