One year on.. Duncan Robinson McClean (b 29 November 1970 d 21 October 2013) It is one year since Duncan, my beloved, beautiful, kind, talented, vulnerable, very funny, gentle giant of a man was laid to rest. On a stormy October afternoon, in the place of his choosing, where the view is huge and the breeze always blows, we gathered, and each of us muddied our hands , in our rich Tamborine soil, as we helped him return home. In the small hours of October 21 /22 last year, 2013, Duncan ended his own life, after a long and valiant struggle with depression. Belatedly, I wish to acknowledge my thanks for the love, friendship and unwavering care I have been so blessed to receive, and continue to receive from my dear children, close family and very precious friends, and also from the wider breadth of this extraordinarily wonderful community. It has been an experience of kindness and grace for which I will be forever grateful. For the many gifts of understanding, compassion, physical assistance and the heartfelt messages of support that each of you brought to this difficult situation, I thank you. To those of you who joined me beside our campfire during those first few tumultuous hours, days and weeks, and during the months since, it is only now with hindsight, that I can fully grasp the precious gifts that each one of you brought with your very presence. To each of you who attended our celebration in November, a month after Duncans passing, and on the date which we had planned to be our wedding day, I thank you for your open minds, your open hearts and your acceptance, for what must have been, for many of you, a very confronting celebration. Respect, admiration and credit go to the Police and Paramedics who attended our home on the morning of Duncans death. Your combined skills, pragmatic, calm and appropriate responses, your patience, sensitivity and humanity were awe inspiring. I am in your debt. The heartfelt acknowledgement I send to you all is very late in coming, but it has taken me many nights, and many months to begin to accept the reality and finality of Duncans death. My hope for those of you who had the good fortune of knowing him, is that pleasure in the memory of his company will come to outweigh the sadness, and the anger, which some of you have expressed, due to the means of his death. Duncan did not die from suicide, he died from depression. Suicide was merely his tool. My immense gratitude goes to those who speak of him openly and compassionately seek to understand this truth. This has meant more to me than you than you can possibly imagine. I would not have missed a moment of our years together. He has been worth every tear shed and every heartache endured over these last 12 months. Duncan was a joy to me, and his memory continues to bring me joy. I witness him now in every beauty, in every sunset, in the flight of every bird. How incredibly fortunate I am to have loved, and to have been so loved by such a Man. In the midst of the most unimaginable shock, disbelief, grief, despair, exhaustion and sadness, I acknowledge that I am a deeply blessed woman and that this life, in all its guises, is indeed worth living. This is a beautiful world, and the presence of each of you in it is proof. Kitty French McClean (Kate Kitty French McClean) When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and your shall see that, in truth, your are weeping for that which has been you delight. K Gibran (if you, OR a loved one or friend is struggling with depression, please, please seek help. Go to beyondblue.org.au. There is help and advice to be found there
Posted on: Thu, 30 Oct 2014 07:08:12 +0000
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