PARENTING IS NOT POSTPONABLE. In 2003, I was one of the 12 teachers picked in the country to train other teachers on pendagogy of science snd mathematics. We were in a JICA funded project based at Kenya Science Teachers College. This was Strengthening of Science and Mathematics in Secondary Schools (SMASSE) . Besides training teachers, there was also a lot of exposure, both within and outside the country. I would leave every Monday morning and come back home on Fri.I would always find the children asleep on the settee. They would refuse to be put in bed untill daddy arrived. I often arrived between 10 to 11pm. While working there KSCF Nakuru team was invited to minister in a challenge weekend at Tambaya sec school in Nyeri. I asked a friend to drive my family and we meet in Nyeri. We had an unforgetable time of ministry from Fri through Sunday. After the service on Sunday, I asked to be excused with my family and we took a strall to the field of a nearby primary school and had a nice family chat. I then mentioned that they were to drop me in Nyeri, where i would pick a matatu (public transport) to Nairobi. Dad youre not going with us back home to Nakuru? Martin my son asked. There is no need to, I answered, Tomorrow am required at work at 8am and if anything, we shall arrive late and i would have to leave early to Nairobi if we travel together back to Nakuru It was then I noticed tears dripping down the face of my little boy. I couldnt understand. I thought we were having a great time & we had reasoned together. Martin, why are you crying? I asked. what followed shook me to the core! I will never forget the experience of my ten year old son standing up, tears in his eyes, looking directly into my eyes and having an outburst with all the energy that a ten year old could muster. Daddy you dont understand how much I miss you when you are in Nairobi!, He exploded, You also leave me asleep on Mondays and its only mommy who tells me you are gone when i wake up. By this time, my wife and then four year old daughter were also in tears. I took the little man some distance away to calm down. After calming down, he demanded: 1. I must drive them back to Nakuru (I took that as confidence of my driving from my son) 2. Every Monday before leaving for Nairobi, I must wake him up and say bye to him. when i tried to reason with him that i didnt find it fair to wake him at 4am he protested, daddy, it is my sleep and i dont mind it disturbed. The boy had guts! After preaching in the rally that afternoon, I drove them all the way back to Njoro on the outskirts of Nakuru. On reaching home, my boy hugged me and told me thank you and immediately went to bed to extend his sleep. He had slept through half the journey. A few weeks later, it was the turn of my daughter. We were having our family prayers before going to bed and each would mentioned their prayer needs. Usually, my daughter used to say we pray for the sick, those without food and her friends. When it reached her time to give her prayer needs she said, mimi nataka tuombe nyumba ya daddy ya Nairobi ibomoke! (lets pray that dads house in Nairobi gets demolished.) We all burst out laughing. kwa nini tuombe nyumba ya daddy ibomoke? (why?) Ili daddy awe nasi hapa kila siku kama mommy. (so that dad can always be with us like mommy) It dawned on me the stress my babies were having due to an absentee father. On returning to Nairobi the next monday, I immediately applied for further studies, was granted a two year leave and proceeded to Egerton university and decided my children were going to have me around as they grew up. For those who have always wondered why i had to go back to classroom teaching, now you know. Thanks to the two greatest kids any parent could raise, they taught me great lessons in parenting.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 09:14:17 +0000