*****PLAYER PROFILE***** Name: Fabrizio Petrone Nickname: Fab, feb, ferb, fabolicious, Fabulous, cunt, fagbrizio, fabzyzzio, cuge, fabrezzy Age: 18 Number: 10 Position: Always In the way Occupation: professional pinkly sniffing Likes: Wanking over girls facebook photos, wanking over girls instagram photos, wanking over girls snapchat photos, sedgy fergo, T2, the block, Buying shit European cars, blowing the engine in his car, growing a shit beard, copying gianlucas haircuts, nippy’s milk, #1 house invader, complaining about why he can’t get with a girl, reversing into gianluca’s car, worst driver, bulking for stereos, roids with mundine, E.P, pretending to fall asleep at nighclubs when he gets rejected by girls, wearing the same outfits (grey shorts and black T), terrible form at the gym, body slaming attackers, putting his thumbs up in every photo, smelling every region of his body via pinky, Vietnamese rolls, pho, luksa, food in general, Kerri’s forbidden daily juice, making Joe pay for his drinks on Joe’s birthday, free drives, shisha with Ahmad Matar, thinking he can blow rings, not giving up on E.P, being blue balled in town, being a bulldog Dislikes: Girls, not getting with baes, shouting, driving, being the only guy in the group without a girlfriend, Arnold for breaking his arm, Nathan taking his wheelchair when playing wheelchair basketball, missing from the goal square in football, his monobrow, exercising, university, not registering a single best a fairest point last season for the cobbers, having a fat foot, running out of excuses for losing in FIFA, Role models: Ray Saman, Dale Witzman, Mundine, Ron Jeremy, craig comblass, Shpeed, Ahmad Best Moment so far as a Cobber: not being kicked out of the team because he so shit. Comment before the season starts: am i really that ugly no one wants me, “boys can we talk some tactics” Coach’s notes: When you see a number ten you think of the many great players such as Messi, Zidane and Totti. These players’ posses stand out qualities which put them amongst the world’s greatest, however our number 10 struggles to complete the bare essentials of the game such as passing and controlling the ball. Fabrizio adopts the defensive technique of body slaming the opposition by placing his hands behind his back and ramming attackers to the ground. Fabrizio refuses to track back and has no input on the counter attack. Although fab makes the majority of the mistakes he is not shy to point the finger. Fabrizio also fails to compare with the world most influential captains such as Steven Gerard and John Terry and he tends to be the one getting constantly yelled at. Although Fabrizio is lacking in many areas within his game he is a vital inclusion, to round off the numbers in the squad and make other players feel better about their performances. At times fabrizio unintentionally finds himself in perfect positions however due to his complete lack of technical ability he fails to accomplish anything constructive. Overall fab is utter rubbish and we wish him the best for the up and coming season, however we encourage fab to hang up the boots and tend to off field matters before the season starts.
Posted on: Mon, 06 Oct 2014 12:22:50 +0000
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