POLITICAL BANGEE (BUNGY) JUMPING .....................................................,............ It has been stated that political fortunes go up and down like a yoyo. Some have said politics is less serene than a yoyo going up and down gently, silently and smoothly. Many have said political fortunes are as wild and volatile as bangee jumping and provide a similar adrenaline rush. Bangee jumping, sometimes referred to as bungy jumping, is an extreme sport where the participant hurls themselves from a great height towards the earth that comes rushing towards the participant to what seems like certain death until the elastic strings slows them down and recoils pulling them back in the opposite direction. I prefer a game of nsolo myself. Senior Chief Mukuni went bangee jumping of the Mosi-o-Tunya Falls Bridge and two years later a near tragic event occurred and an Australian tourist who went bangee jumping did not come back up because the strings snapped. She miraculously survived but not all can expect to be as lucky as she was. In order to assure tourists that it was safe (and I am almost certain after a little silent prayer) the then minister of Tourism Given Lubinda took the political plunge in order to demonstrate that it was safe to bangee jump. Lubinda successfully managed to make this political bangee jump and came back up with much political mileage and added street cred. I am sure some of you are asking, Well Honourable Sikota, you were Member of Parliament for Livingstone for two full terms totaling ten years, did you ever Bangee jump of the Mosi-o-Tunya Falls Bridge? Well, I cannot tell a lie and therefore my honest answer is that I never came round to bungee jumping of the Falls Bridge or anywhere else for that matter. Why not? you may ask. Since I cannot tell a lie, I must confess that I did not get round to bangee jumping of the Falls Bridge because, unlike all the thrill seekers, leisure hunters and fun searching holiday makers that flock to Livingstone, being Member of Parliament for the area, I did not go to Livingstone for holiday but I am the only fool (whilst others frolicked and played out their fantasies) who went to the tourist capital to work. I have never even had the indulgence or pleasure of even a working holiday to Livingstone. I know that Honourable Lubinda added to his political credence by taking the brave plunge but since, shall I say, I am more modest and conservative I politely demurred from taking the place on the bangee jumping queue that could have deprived a tourist who had travelled thousands of miles for the thrill being denied by the local member of parliament. I was just being considerate. Besides, even though some will say I lost out on an opportunity to establish some political street cred, I do know that political fortunes are said to go up and down like a yoyo. For the yoyo to work as it should you have to attach the string carefully to the spool. If you do not do it well the spool will not return but free fall and remain hanging. With bangee jumping the strings or ropes are even more critical. It is those strings you depend on for a successful bangee jump. Taking a leaf from Lubindas literal bangee jump the PF have gone on a political bangee jumping expedition in the Mangango by election. They dived of by sentencing three BAROTSE Activists, who are also sons of the soil, to three years imprisonment each for the offence of, publishing false news before a packed Kaoma court room that released raw emotions of discontent and defiance. Their hope was that before they crashed into the ground the bangee strings would recoil and bring them back up establishing their political street cred. This was soon followed up with the kidnapping of a local resident all the way to Kabwe. This was all done in the hope that the yoyo effect inherent In a bangee jump will pull them back at just the right moment. As if this was not bad enough the PF decided to leap of a bridge in Mangango after, instead of building bridges, burning down bridges used by the local people. Even though Nikita Khrushchev believed Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers., he clearly never met the. Donchi. Kubeba type of politicians who promise and say nothing preferring to burn down bridges instead. To add the ultimate disappointment the local people of Mangango have been denied seeing the Pf star player, His Excellency Michael Sata whom is not even indicated to be on the substitutes bench for the Mangango tie. Brazil was able to quell the disappointment of their fans not seeing Neymar in the semi-finals and third and fourth playoff because it was explained that Neymar was unfit to play due to injury. Although he did not play Neymar however came to the matches to give his team mates some much needed moral support. Imagine what the Brazilian fans reaction would have been had Neymar, without any explanation at all, not even appeared on the substitute bench! You remember that Brazil without their star player, Neymar, were humbled 7-1 by Germany in the World Cup semi final and further humiliated 3-0 by the Netherlands in the absence of their talisman. How will Team (FC) PF fare without their most lethal striker Michael Sata who, in the tradition of all great Brazilian players like Pele, Garrincha, Jairzinho, Dunga, Socrates, Zico, Ronaldo, Rivaldo etc, has a single playing nickname on the field of play- COBRA!? Being without your star player in a critical match is like going bangee jumping with something missing. With the political bangee jumping the PF has engaged in in Mangango it looks like the string will not recoil and UPND and MMD look set to bring them crashing back to earth in the manner Germany and the Netherlands did to Brazil. There is clearly something missing. I am not talking of PF being left hanging here but, in this ill fated political bangee jump, their hurtling down head first to certain death. There is no yoyo effect that should be expected in Mangango because it seems that PF has gone bangee jumping in this by election kamikaze style with something missing - no strings attached!
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 05:22:21 +0000
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