People are such a weird, ball of desires. Im beginning to think that we are born unlimited, and made to trim off our pretensions one by one. I desire everything for everyone. There have been moments in my life when Ive experienced true wonder. Times Ive been in art galleries, and seen art that, though the artist be long dead, they spoke to me as if they were standing and nudging right beside me. When I could see the fingerprints of life, pressed through the ages to strain to touch mine. Ive known what it is to go from being completely incapable of making music, to painstakingly crafting an album, having written and recorded every instrument myself, having thoughtfully written each note, each pause, and having the realization of this world of effort arrive in a single moment. And Ive known what it is feel that, and know that it is a fleeting moment, one youll never get back. Ive known what it is to absolutely, unconditionally love someone. To throw away your cards. To know the love that is too powerful to be meddled with, the love that is beyond foolishness. The love that, must consume you. The love that is not a party to you, but which you are a party to. And from that realization, I know what it feels like to suddenly know, that very, very few people will know what that feels like. From that vantage point, I can see the cost of that knowledge. Its one thing to have the courage to live a normal life, which is considerable. But how do you live, when you understand, deep-down, what all those things feel like? How do you live, when you realize how rare love is, when you know how far away your dreams really are? Its easy to throw darts on a map, but the truth is, you dont have clue how to get there. And there are graveyards full of people who never went there. So this is a call. A challenge to all of you out there who want to go there, before you land in the graveyard. Im just not content. Right or wrong, win or lose, I dont care. Im going there. It may take me a while, it may take me forever. I may never win, it may all be a grandiose exercise in futility. But I will feel all those things again. And theres more to discover. There is some strength left in these bones, Im far from done. And if its all for naught, Id rather die trying. Dont leave anything unlived; keep your pretensions, theyre all youve got.
Posted on: Sun, 29 Jun 2014 00:55:51 +0000