People ask often how are you doing? For almost 12 weeks, my focus has been on Brian K. Johnson and making sure that he had everything he needed, assisting him, keeping nurses and doctors in the loop (because I was with him all the time I knew the routine and meds), watched ESPN because that is what made him happy, rolled up my bed every morning and rolled it out every evening, ate from a fridge or fastfood and relied on my mom to take care of Hayden. Coming home was a challenge. No longer seeing him and needing to help him. Not hearing the sound of him breathing with the aid of the vent, ivs beeping, nurses and respiratory therapists coming in and out. Now being able to cook something when I felt like eating. Giving my daughter a bath for the first time in months. Now being able to watch something other than ESPN. Finding joy in drinking a beer without Brian. He loved craft beers. The hardest part is at night. I find it scary and difficult to close my eyes to go to sleep. Thankfully, Ive had Amber Broadnax, my mom and Hayden to sleep with me so that I can get to sleep. I have found myself just sitting on the bed or walking around the house wondering where to start. Brian took care of paying bills. I am slowly getting the hang of it. I have begun to clean out. Medications went first as well as my slippers that I wore at the hospital. They were a reminder of difficult times. Ive had folks ask are you staying in AL or are you moving to GA? I honestly dont know at this time. Hayden and I are taking it one day at a time. I am trying to do fun things with her and we will start her home schooling back up next week. For now, please keep your prayers coming. I cannot thank you all enough for your prayers and financial support.
Posted on: Fri, 03 Oct 2014 02:01:48 +0000
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