*Personal story ahead that involves a graphic description of a tragedy I just went through. If you are easily offended please skip this post because Im only looking for support and love in my life* I was sitting in 7 West an hour before the fatal event, passively sipping through two Americanos as I ruminated over the colossal failure otherwise known as my GPA. In between sips I noticed a couple, nay many, grumbles coming from my bowels but I ignored them, downing each fateful cup of coffee to the dregs. Bottoms up...and the devil laughs. The two drinks that I had just finished shared the space in my stomach with a 6-inch sub that went down the hatch only about an hour earlier - what could possibly go wrong? So I paid the bill and left 7 West at 5 oclock, completely oblivious to the dormant giant now brewing above my loins. I am only 17 years old and I dont have the fittest body. But what I do lack in physical strength I make up for with better than average control of my anal sphincter. In other words, Ive done my fair share of anal. However despite being in my element, I all too easily dismissed the chemistry taking place within the walls of my mortal body. I was cocky even. Tick, tick, tick, clipped the time bomb, muted by my loud thoughts of asshole pride. Around SMC things began to grow sour. My stomach started to feel queasy, the ground seemed to be moving, and I quickly realized that I had made a mistake not going while I had the chance. But I told myself to stay strong and as a coping mechanism I intuitively adopted a breathing pattern - two quick breaths and one long moan, something to take my mind off the now shit fetus that was kicking against my colon. The night was still dark and no one was in Queens Park. A couple cars were circling around each bend but that was about it as far as witnesses were concerned. I continued to walk, wincing with every step and imagining the virginal emptiness of the personal toilet that awaited me back in residence. I looked around and I noticed that no one else was in the park which comforted me just a little. If worst came to worst I could always run up to a port-o-potty, drop trou, and release every gory detail and no one would be the wiser. You have to understand before I go any further that I am not the best student but rather far from it. I have a lot of stress going into MAT135 and so add those hormonal factors to the panic that was already gripping me and you will hopefully find a better understanding of why I did what I did. I made it through the park finally and was at the stoplights in front of Wycliffe. This was now the endgame: my res was only a couple hundred feet away, I was home free. But then I remembered something. I forgot my house keys in my room. My phone was dead.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 02:01:00 +0000
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