Personality; we are all born with a unique one. It earmarks who we are in the world. One thing that I have learned through the whole grief process is that it is an evolving state, and “change” is the part of it all that remains a constant. Personality develpment evolves in us as children in our temperment, environment and character. Ironically, these are the attributes that change the most when we suffer and cope with significant loss. Temperment; I find myself reacting to things differently than ever before and people react to me differently as well. When I read through posts of people’s stories, I find that it is a common thread we all find. For me things I used to tolerate in this world, such as rude behavior or annoying comments and cliches, I am not afraid to be angry or express my opinions. On the other hand my short temper with some things has a counterpart of deep compassion for others. I find myself looking at others differently at those who are struggling with their own demons and heartache. My vulnerability has in many ways has become my greatest teacher. I’ve learned to dig deep within myself to understand others. A temperament that has truly changed. Environement; a profound change. My bedroom is now just “mine” The refrigerator is full of what I like to eat, and my outside world that I use to share with the man I loved is no longer visietd. Favorite restaurants, movies theatres, and walking paths. My world as I knew it changed. And yet, through this change, I have found other walking paths, I’ve met new friends, and have traveled to places that I would have never traveled. I find my deck to be a refuge for beautiful birds that I never saw before, and those wonderful sunrises and sunsets set fire to me soul and gives me energy. It is all a beautiful album of new places in my life that give me energy and life. A new environment. My character. I believe this is where I have seen the most change. My passion has become so centerpoint for me. Going through such heartache and loss has made me become a woman who is much stronger and braver than I ever thought I could be because no one asked me if I could do it. I now wear a thick armor that surrounds me, and it reminds me of my strength, and gives me the bravery and courage that I need to put my feet on the ground everyday People in our lives do not always like our changes. Changes can be scary for them. They want the old us back in many ways. But what I have found is that most important thing to do is to embrace what is new, and not fear it because my friends..it is all we have. It’s OK to look over your shoulder and smile at once was, but to embrace the new you is marvelous, and is to be celebrated. Catherine Leaf Author of "Profound Blessing"
Posted on: Tue, 24 Sep 2013 01:01:59 +0000
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