Qualities and Characteristics of a Good Husband: His marital vision, his attitude and his deportment “If a man doesn’t discipline himself to manage his own household, how can he look after a congregation of God’s people?” (I Tim.3:5) A good husband… Knows you cannot lead others simply by good intentions Knows, if he is followed, it is because of his character Is purpose-driven Is accountable Knows that a bad husband cannot be a good father Is self-disciplined Is a time-manager Allows nothing to distract him from his goals Organizes on his “knees” Will organize so he doesn’t agonize Works smart: not just hard Prioritizes constantly Perpetually self-evaluates Is dependent on the Holy Spirit Works from God’s agenda, not his own A good husband… Spends time alone with God Is transparent Can laugh at himself Is predictable Isn’t moody Knows his leadership is ultimately measured by his wife Has joy in the marital journey Thinks more about his vocation than his vacation Doesn’t just get older; he gets bolder Accepts responsibility Is clear on what is expected of him Does work for his wife with excellence Offers creative ideas for environmental improvement Is consistent Admits mistakes Has both the ability and willingness to improve Looks for what will bring the best results in his marriage A good husband… Knows that, as his responsibilities increase, his rights will decrease Is willing to give up everything except responsibility for his actions Realizes his integrity has dynamic, influential value Desires godly integrity: not just an image Knows that image is what others think he is and integrity is what God knows him to be Knows he has to live in integrity before he can lead in integrity Is a man of one primary book: the Bible Applies the Word to the work Knows he can trust the Bible for leadership principles Is crystal clear about his own beliefs Brings his family to church consistently Is flexible Has a team spirit Welcomes positive change Counts the cost of change Doesn’t fear the unknown Is willing to make a commitment and keep it Is open to new ideas his wife and family may have Knows that what he is isn’t defined by what he has accomplished A good husband… Has imagination Doesn’t pass the buck Simplifies his life Is an early riser Exercises Eats healthy Sleeps healthy Stays healthy Develops learning skills Is teachable Studies, knowing that leaders are readers Knows that to read small is to lead small Realizes that his leadership is closely linked with his personality Is not self-serving Never asks, “How will it make me look?” Asks quality questions, gathers data and evaluates constantly Turns information into innovation Doesn’t blame circumstances Is an optimist Knows a positive attitude is his most valuable asset Accepts responsibility for his attitude Has a high expectation that good things will happen Doesn’t have a “victim” attitude Doesn’t have a “defeatist” attitude Knows his attitude will affect the attitude of his wife Knows leadership has more to do with his disposition than his position Knows what happens in him is more important than what happens to him Identifies how and why he feels a certain way, develops a plan to change wrong thinking and then commits to the plan A good husband… Is not driven by resentment, anger, fear, materialism or the need for approval Is motivated and prepared Is authentic Is original Bases his identity in Jesus, not himself Has character, charisma, commitment, competence and courage Is a man of discernment and discretion Is generous Takes initiative Knows that the power of leadership is the ability to influence Doesn’t settle for the average Knows being a effective husband is not accidental Never manipulates Is sensitive Teaches his family more about prevention than cures Stays on target Focuses on the current task at hand Is crystal in his purpose Understands the value of momentum Accepts responsibility for momentum Knows that the husband is responsible for momentum, not the family Avoids procrastination and complacency Is confident, but not cocky Believes what he’s doing is meaningful A good husband… Celebrates victories within his family Knows that when his family wins, they will want to win again Maximizes what God is doing within his family Knows that Jesus never allowed public opinion to sidetrack Him from His mission Understands that Jesus never allowed Satan to sidetrack Him from His mission Knows that spiritual leadership is based on spiritual character Knows that obedience is first learned, then taught Knows that faithfulness is the yardstick by which God measures maturity Realizes that Jesus’ model for success isn’t found in a textbook, but in obedience Knows he is accountable first to the Lord Doesn’t try to satisfy his wife more than God Knows that no family can outgrow its leader Knows that true leadership is developed by God’s Spirit (Zechariah 4:6) Does not allow his success to define him Never relies on his position for his influence Knows that leadership involves the capability to influence his family toward specific goals Understands the difference between goals and rewards Knows that reaching potential is more important than reaching goals Admits he doesn’t know everything Promotes excellence, commitment, competence and human dignity within his family Takes an aggressive role in developing, expressing and defending godly family values A good husband… Knows how these values, properly understood, shape and guide behavioral patterns Thinks more in terms of effectiveness than in leaving his legacy Knows that fidelity is more important than success Has a clear focus concerning the principles and practices that guide his home Does not pitch so fast that his wife strikes out Realizes that why something is done is more important than how Is always in a state of personal self-development Assumes responsibility for the effectiveness of the family Knows that power is pointless when hoarded Knows that prayer must proceed policy Is willing to take calculated risks Meets needs Builds trust Is open-minded Is friendly Is kind Is flexible Knows that success rests on shared commitment to ideas, values and goals Perpetually reaffirms family values Realizes that participative home management is covenant based A good husband… Is a man of integrity Is dedicated to quality Seeks competence in himself and others Recognizes what is best for the family Intends to make a significant contribution Knows leadership can only be expressed by the practice of it Knows what he stands for and where he is heading Says, “Let’s go forward,” but never… “Now which way?” Challenges the status quo Helps direct the energies of the home Understands the difference between effectiveness and efficiency Leads through serving Keeps on climbing Knows leadership is a heart condition Is a participant, not an observer Exemplifies the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5) Knows leadership isn’t a spectator sport A husband with vision… Builds a visionary family Understands that his family needs a dream of tomorrow Knows that when his family needs new direction, the first step is always a new vision Knows that a vision must be designed to direct the energies of his family in a shared direction Realizes great vision helps to develop family potential Believes his vision will bridge the present with the future Lives and breathes his vision Knows his vision will empower his family Knows that vision involves risk taking Is a direction setter Is a pace setter Continually clarifies his vision Has a clear sense of direction, enabling him to clearly articulate the vision Knows how to explain his intentions and expectations Understands that vision must be easily comprehended by others Can clearly communicate his marital vision statement Has a godly compulsion to share his vision and keep his dream in front of his family Knows that a vision will set a standard of excellence Knows that a vision must reflect a crystal-clear strategy in order to translate it into reality Knows that great visionaries are great communicators Teaches his family how to constantly improve their ability to achieve the vision Places heavy emphasis on godly family values Is convinced of the importance of his marital mission Focuses on his vision, not what others might think about him A husband with vision… Shares his marital dreams with his family Has a long-range perspective Views the future with a sense of continuity Becomes skilled in anticipating and assessing the future Has a dream worth following Knows a great vision is contagious Understands that the entire family must be united so that their lives are intertwined and moving toward a recognizable goal Understands that vision inspires enthusiasm and encourages commitment Knows he is obligated to provide and maintain momentum Knows that momentum for his vision depends on good strategy Knows that vision involves insight, foresight and hindsight Knows his vision must be realistic and yet it is idealistic Knows a vision is a special kind of dream built on faith Sets his sails toward a specific destination Knows that vision is the driving force behind a great family Knows his vision reflects the uniqueness of his family Knows that the progress of his family is driven by the idealism and optimism captured in a persuasive and appealing vision of the future A husband with vision… Knows that a vision is a mental model of the future state of his family Knows that a vision has no inherent power in itself to energize his family, unless it anticipates a future that betters the family Knows that a vision portrays a future world that cannot be verified in advance Knows that a vision must be desirable, powerful and transforming Realizes that vision formation is not a task for a coward Knows that the very existence of a vision requires an act of faith Knows his vision may never be realized as he originally imagined Knows that without a vision, his leadership is sure to fail Believes dreams can be translated into realities Knows that he is the architect of his family’s future Knows his vision creates meaning in people’s lives Believes that his vision will establish a standard of excellence Knows the value of recognizing his wife and children for their contributions to the advancement of the vision Knows it is essential that his family see themselves in this vision Has a vision so compelling that everyone will want to make it happen Creates a sense of priority for any changes the vision requires Knows that the vision energizes his family to commit to something truly worthwhile Accepts full responsibility for making the vision achievable A good husband… Doesn’t let little irritations become big problems Recognizes problems before they become emergencies Can identify and define the root problem Doesn’t spend ten dollars worth of time on a ten-cent decision Makes tough decisions Is open to contrary opinions Sees beyond the current crisis Disciplines himself to handle turbulence Doesn’t overreact in emergencies Does not get caught up in the emotions associated with a problem Responds in love to the reactions of others affected by the problem Confronts when necessary but does it in love Doesn’t consider a problem without pondering possible solutions Knows it is dangerous to consider only one point of view Doesn’t solve problems for his family, but with them Views problem solving as a challenge, not a chore Sees opportunity where others see only trouble Is willing to pay for his own mistakes Is merciful concerning the mistakes of others Establishes principles and policies so the same problem won’t reoccur Concentrates on a family member’s future potential, not past failures Knows that mistakes can be turned into advantageous object lessons A good husband….. Spends quality time mentoring his children Finds common ground on which to relate to everyone in his family Can take the correct temperature of the home environment Seeks opportunities for his wife and children to grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically Has joy in watching others grow Doesn’t take things personally Identifies with his family Allows his family to see his humanity Leads by example Expresses honest appreciation When he’s wrong, he apologizes: when he’s right, he gives others the credit Is quick to apologize Lets others save face Can inspire others without discouraging them Trusts the right children with the right tasks Delegates efficiently and effectively Provides his children with the right tools for the right job Recognizes his family’s need to be needed and to be understood Understands his children’s need to be involved, accountable and to keep commitments Practices the art of persuasion Studies ways to get his children to do what they don’t want to do…and to enjoy it Makes chores rewarding, meaningful, enriching, fulfilling and joyful Is accessible Has a true open-door policy Sees a child who wants to communicate as an opportunity, not an interruption Is willing to lay aside his agenda for the agenda of another Plans his quality time A good husband… Is a non-critical student of his family Helps meet emotional needs, not just logistical needs Sees the potential in his wife and children Inspires enthusiasm Influences his family in every positive way Has genuine love for his family Sees through the eyes of his family Takes his family with him on the journey Continues to learn how to influence his family toward God Is self-less, rather than selfish Doesn’t say “Go” but “Let’s go” Values his family Is committed to his family Knows people need encouragement Knows people respond to encouragement Does not belittle anyone Never retaliates Encourages personal, spiritual growth Knows that leadership is empowering others Knows the power of encouraging others toward the maximization of their potential Removes obstacles to allow others to realize their maximum potential Seeks to liberate rather than control Makes it a top priority to learn his children’s dreams A good husband… Invests in his family’s gifts, talents and creative energies Encourages self-worth, belonging, expectancy, responsibility and accountability Understands and accepts the diversity of gifts and talents within his family Allows others to have their creative space Knows diversity means allowing each to make his/her special contribution to the combined effort Gives opportunity to provide meaning, fulfillment and purpose to each member Liberates his family to be effective Moves people from where they are to where God wants them to be Never shows anger publicly. Knows the art of persuasion Knows that people must give you the authority to lead them Knows that God can use diversity to build character that could not be shaped in any other way Perpetually seeks innovative ways to express biblical truth and helps his family to apply them Is committed to building a strong, Spirit-filled family Understand personalities Understands the joy he is able to impart on those whom he empowers Balances the relationship of expectation and performance Enables others to exercise their gifts Is an encourager A good husband…. Ensures that family decisions will not be closed to questioning and improvements Explains to his children the difference between having a opinion and a vote on a matter Respects each family member as an individual Accepts contrary opinions Responds appropriately Is a great listener Listens to the ideas, aspirations and desires of his family Is constantly asking himself, “What do my wife and children want to become?” Meets people’s needs for belonging, growth and contribution Seeks to enable his family, not encumber them Is joyful as he sees his family maturing Knows that only as the family continues to learn together can it be effective Expresses genuine concern and appreciation Fosters a healthy home environment Is compassionate Is user friendly Inspires trust within his family circle Inspires trust outside of his family circle Says “Thank you!” Empowers his family members to feel fulfilled Knows that exclusiveness breeds estrangement and that inclusiveness breeds unity Relates skillfully to those who look to him for guidance, encouragement and motivation Keeps communication channels open at all times Allows communication to be the most frequently used tool in the family workshop
Posted on: Tue, 10 Sep 2013 15:56:55 +0000
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