Quote Of The Day: If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be. -Johann Wolfgang van Goethe In essence--this is the most well-articulated and condensed explanation of how I try to live my life. In any relationship I have, I purposefully do two things consistently that I believe help to make that person better, make our relationship better, and definitely make me better. Number 1--I try to see the best in people. Now, I dont mean that in the typical sense. When most people use that phraseology they are referring to someones intentions--they try to see the best in someones motives, they try not to doubt people or assume them ill-willed or as having an agenda. Seeing the best in someone has come to mean, for a lot of people, simply not seeing the worst; the term means that youll try to find something positive to help you overlook their faults. To me that is sort of a well this is what we got so lets make it work kind of attitude in relationships. What Im saying is that I see and believe in peoples potential--the absolute best that they can offer. For instance, if you tell me that you have an interest in something, lets say archery--Im going to start looking up archery contests, hunting down deals on equipment, and telling everyone throughout suburban Costa Mesa to watch out, cuz frickin Robin Hood lives down the street! I mean the BEST in people! The second thing I do in relationships is hold people accountable to their words and their own expectations of themselves. This means that Im encouraging as well as honest, both of which are important. I think that nowadays people are starving for honesty. I know I am. We have become as a society so overly concerned with hurting peoples feelings that I believe we have crippled our own ability to deal with criticism and hard truths. One of my favorite old sayings is friends tell friends the things they do not want to hear, but need to. Two of the most transformational conversations I ever had in my life were when someone close to me was willing to confront my behavior and tell me that I was better than how I was acting and that he was willing to discontinue his association with me if the behavior persisted. Wooooow! My mind was blown that someone had the courage to confront me that way, and I have NEVER been the same since! I am so incredibly thankful for that experience. But holding people accountable doesnt always mean a confrontation either. Sometimes, it means you give them the permission to let themselves off the hook. Ever know somebody who is incredibly hard on themselves? They say they want to achieve something important to them, then they set out to go do it, they actually achieve it.....and then are disappointed? Holding that person accountable means youre helping them to realize realistic expectations and promoting congratulations for the amazing job they did do. At this point Im rambling, and if youre still reading then I applaud your patience. My point is....very literally treat people how THEY want to be treated. Find out what that is, find out whats important to them, then go and do it--on purpose and intentionally. All of your relationships and people interactions will drastically change for the better, I guarantee it!
Posted on: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 13:55:41 +0000
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