***Reader Needs Advice*** NO BASHING!!! Ok, so I started dating a woman this summer that has been divorced for a year. She lead me to believe she was completely available. She told me how her ex husband had mentally abused & controlled her. We dated heavily for four months, she stayed at my place all the time & started referring to it as home. As time went on & we shared more experiences together, I realized I had fallen madly in love with her, & although we hadnt said those words to each other yet, I was feeling certain she felt the same way about me. Things couldnt have been any better, our families both loved us to death, & I started to think she was the one & I wanted to marry & spend the rest of my life with her. Then out of the blue, one day she gets very distant, & continues to stay that way for a week or so. She stops staying with me, & its obvious something is wrong!! Im thinking its something horrible, like cancer or something, & that she doesnt wanna tell me. So one Tuesday night I go to her house & convince her to tell me whats been wrong. She says she has a guy best friend, that shes worked with for 10 years, & that over the year since her divorce, hed left his wife twice & come to be with her, only to then go back home, for the kids of course, lol, whatever. She said she never told me about him because she thought that it was all over with & that shed moved on, but that now he actually is going through with a divorce, & saw some pics of us together on FB & it made him very jealous & that he wanted her back in his life!! She said shes so sorry but she loves him & feels like she doesnt have a choice but to go to him & see what could be with him. We were amazing together, never had an argument, & as far as I know we both enjoyed every minute we shared together. She says she understands & agrees with everything Ive said about them having a negative history & us being so perfect for each other. She says her family & friends think shes crazy to go back to a man whose broken her heart twice before when she has an amazing man in me that would love, cherish, & protect her!! But she says she doesnt have a choice, she has to go be with him, & she has!! His divorce has been final for almost two months & their together. She left me two & a half months ago & I cant move on!! I love her with all my heart. She says that if it doesnt work out, then Id have a choice to make, as to whether to take her back & see if we could start over or not, but I also know that she doesnt want that!! She wants to stay with him forever!! And his poor ex wife tried to make it work knowing theyd had an affair & still worked together in the same office. That poor woman got screwed over way more than I ever did, I cant imagine her pain?! So how do I move on from what I felt was my soul mate? Ive tried dating again but no one can replace or compare to her!! So while she moves on happily with this guy, & Im just some small chapter of her life that shes put in the past, Im left here alone, depressed, & still hurting, & still loving her just as much as I ever did. And if it doesnt work out between them, & she does want to date me again, how could I trust that she wouldnt go back to him yet again? I understand they never got to date for real, they were both always married to someone else, so they always met in secret?! Now for the first time in their 10 year friendship, they can openly go out together. Im sure thats exciting for them, it all just seems so selfish. He left a good woman & two young kids behind, & she left me & Id have done anything to make her happy.
Posted on: Fri, 17 Jan 2014 02:15:00 +0000
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