Reminiscing on the phone with an ex has really made me think of my past and how far I have came. Each relationship has made me into a stronger but yet more gentle boyfriend. I am more mature and dont let the petty things bother me. I have become independent in myself and have strengthened who I am to a significant other. So, as I think back, I have truly noticed something monumental. I will probably never be in a long lasting relationship ever again. 3 years ago during this very month, I picked up a super drunk boy and took him home. I dropped him off, went home, and texted him to make sure he was okay. That night, I didnt know it, but my life would never be the same. The very next day (or the day after) I was invited to his place to play Mario Kart. I talked a big game on how I was going to stomp him and in return, he actually stomped me. Race after race, I was defeated. I hung my head low and we carried on throughout the evening. After many days had passed, we started hanging out everyday, all day. We became very close. Three and a half weeks passed since that night of my Mario Kart defeat. We were backing out of his driveway. As we slowly reversed to the street, he nudged me on accident and uttered, I am so sorry. I love you. The look on his face was like, oh sh*t. My reply was, Oh my god. I didnt know what else to say. I knew that very chilly night, he was the one for me. After being around his friends all evening, what he said in the car was running through my mind. I couldnt think about anything or anyone else. Over and over, I replayed the moment in my head. Its something I will never forget. As months became colder, my heart grew warmer. I had fallen in love for the first time. He was so supportive. He wanted me to go back to school and get my life together. He worked so hard on helping me become a stronger and more independent person. With all things, a downward hill was approaching. My insecurities and dependencies became a burden on not only him but on me as well. I was becoming a bitter, childish, and selfish person. The corner I crawled into soon became one of the worst things in my life. I eventually lost him in May and turned into someone disgusting. I dated and dated and dated. I didnt know what to do. I literally planned to be with him forever. Since the monkey wrench was thrown in the works, my life plan was nothing like it was supposed to be. With all the good and all the bad, I look back and enjoy the memories. The good that makes my heart warm and the bad that makes me never to be that person again. Throughout three years, I have declined and ascended through life. Up and down - up and down. I have had great accomplishments. I have traveled all over the eastern coast, made great friendships, worked for an amazing cosmetic company, and am in the process of building my lifes career. My life is still a work in progress but my future is bright. Hard work and determination is all I have in this life and its all I need! I stand firm and proud to call myself a professional photographer. I have photographed some amazing people who have also helped me grow. When I get to the top, I will look back. I will send a thank you back in time three years ago, four, or maybe even five, to a very special person who helped me build the best foundation a life would need. I stand firm in the realization that you are the only person I was made for. However, I also realize that I am not the one you were made for. You fulfilled what you were supposed to do. You helped build what I am today and inspired who I am tomorrow. I wish happiness and love and positive energy. There is no other way to end this besides a song. A very beautiful song. youtu.be/BnE4wFaLfhw
Posted on: Thu, 23 Oct 2014 03:41:03 +0000
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