Ride to Give has changed me in so many ways, but the most profound way is as a mom. I completely took for granted when I was pregnant with both of my children the million little puzzle pieces that have to fall exactly into place to make a healthy baby. When they were born I suffered from exhaustion with Gertie (who doesnt with a newborn?) and PPD with George. I obsessed over sleep schedules, when to start solids, and watched for those milestones to be reached right on schedule. They were. I didnt spend that much time thinking about other mommies, let alone women with children who were sick...that wasnt part of my universe. Until last year. I have moments of frustration with my kids...and times when I cant wait for them to get to bed. The other day George had a tantrum (VERY seldom) and I decided to just let him scream it out while I held him. He was overtired and mad at me for taking him out of the bath before he was ready, and screamed AT me about an inch away from my face. I calmly kept reassuring him that I was hearing what he was saying but it was time to eat dinner. He then screamed again with emphasis and head butted me. My top lip got caught on my tooth and my lip exploded. While I hunched over the sink with my adrenaline pumping and blood dripping out of my mouth all I could think about was Stacy saying she missed Tripps tantrums, and then my heart broke. That night I laid in bed and cried. I cried for Stacy and all the special needs moms Ive come to know through RTG. I cried because I felt guilty for having a healthy rambunctious head-strong boy, and then cried because I felt guilty. Then I realized its ok to be upset with my kids, even though I hold moms with challenges so much greater than mine deep in my heart. Finally I fell asleep, and woke up to a new day, coffee in the pot, and more Ride to Give work to be done. And a fat lip.
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 20:00:01 +0000
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