Ronnie and I took our first ACD road trip yesterday to Warsaw, MO. We usually go on a float trip every year with these friends and we went to visit with them for a few hours. Ronnie and I made a promise to each other before we even pulled out of the driveway that if it was too tough on either of us once we arrived, we would leave. It was fun and we actually laughed. Thanks Taos Float Trip crew and Mike and Donna Ortmeyer, you have a beautiful home and piece of land and thank you for sharing it with us. I did notice however, that whenever I talked about Corrie, the funeral or the accident - no one responded, almost in an uncomfortable silence. I know our friends probably didn’t know what to say and that’s o.k. because we are all venturing into unchartered territory. I guess grief decided to spring another surprise on us, and now I feel like I need to assess every situation we may be going into before we go in order not to get emotionally ambushed and cause us to have a meltdown in public. I will have to learn when or who I can talk to about Corrie, and since I will never stop talking about either of my babies until I draw my last breath, this may be a LONG lesson for me to learn! This is not a complaint against any of our friends who were wonderful and so supportive during our lifemare, just another observation this broken woman noticed. Some more observations: * it seems that I now tell time differently. It’s measured by Corrie’s death. It is no longer: “2 weeks ago I went to the store”, it is now “2 weeks after Corrie died, or 2 weeks after the funeral I went to the store.” * If I can hear my Ronnie sobbing in the shower, why do I think my tears are silent to my husband? * People look at us differently somehow, and we hear whispering behind out backs: “that’s the parents that lost their daughter” (WE DIDN’T LOSE OUR DAUGHTER WE KNOW WHERE SHE’S IS, BUT OUR DAUGHTER DID DIE). I guess some people think we buried our hearing and eyesight with Corrie! * People we’ve known or worked with for years, have still not said a word to us about Corrie’s death. It has been said they don’t know what to say…figure it out because your silence hurts us worse than what you are afraid to say to us. * Many people who have never lost their child seem to know how to get over grief easier and will share that with us. It is better that I don’t write my opinion about this because I am trying to stay Christian! I am not writing these things to be mean or smug. I am writing them because they happen to us and once again, it is my hope that if any of you come into contact with parents who have lost their babies will know what not to say or do! If you are in any situation, where a family or friend has lost anyone close to them, be that go to person. Be the one in their kitchen accepting the food from family and friends, writing it down, marking the dishes with names so it is easy to return the dish when everything is over, put the food away, be there when people come over to visit and if we are finally laying down because of sheer exhaustion, be the person to gently let the visitor know that and see if they can come back, be the person to answer the phone that rings off the hook and most importantly, be that person who even after the funeral and after everyone leaves the family, to stay in contact with them. We may not want to talk or visit, but sometimes we need to be forced into doing both. I need to thank our wonderful son Brian Talken again. Baby, we love you with all our heart and soul and truly would not have made it through Corrie’s death and then trying to return to some sort of “normalcy” in our lives. Thank you for calling and checking on us every day, thank you for coming over when you can, thank you for being the wonderful man dad and I hoped you would be. Love you more than a million, gazillion bucks. I hope everyone has a blessed and relaxing Lord’s Day of Rest. No challenges today, just give God a shout out for His goodness! 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” God bless, LET GO LET GOD, Dimes, pink skies & stars, mismatched socks, magic rocks. lost crock pots, wet puppy dog smells, quiet time, holding hands, I LOVE YOU’s, 3 kisses, summer rains, strong daddies, HOPE, PB&J sandwiches and Unicorns.
Posted on: Sun, 24 Aug 2014 16:16:27 +0000
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