SHOULD THE DEMOCRATS EAT REPUBLICANS? Whether pan-fried, pot-roasted, grilled, braised or pan-skilled, there is no doubt that Tez Cruz, properly cut and served, could feed a family of four for at least two weeks or longer if kept in a controlled freezer. Mitch McConnell and Rush Limbaugh, properly skinned (though the skin has many vitamins) might provide an entire elementary school a much-needed protein breakfast for an entire week -- and I might add that Republican skin, thick and well deep-fried, is a crunch snack any time of day for those whose food stamps have been taken away. Republicans first reported their taste for cannibalized human protein at Donner Pass, before moving on to Utah to set up ski-resorts and Robert Redford’s movie shows, healthy as heck. Eating U.S. citizens for free may sound a bit like “entitlement” at first, but it is the Republicans, mostly the rich-rich ones, who have declared that food stamps for the poorest in our society, are “out to lunch” and they have removed them from the billion-billion agriculture bill which serves way more rich-rich Republican farmers than anybody else. And those Republicans, according to Pat Buchanan, are really Confederates in Disguise, directly descended like Mitch McConnell and Eric Cantor from Virginia (republicans like Cantor or Paul are a bit on the thin side for big slabs of blubber, but they will eventually grow to the size of McConnell or Lindsay Graham, a fellow I’ve got my eyes on I got to admit, lip-smacking delicious I bet with years and years of Capitol hills’ lunches paid for by aircraft executives, but that’s another story.) [Q: Is “sequester” like a “separation” in the Civil War sense? A: No, not as extreme.] At present some Republicans are worried that cutting food stamps will hurt “retail” sales of food, and thus the stock market, but help may be on the way for those stores hurt by food-stamp cut-offs in the same way that Mitch McConnell got billions for a Kentucky dam project (not “damn”) project) during the “sequester” engineered by Republicans to crush the American lower classes who’ve had the temerity to actually vote. Starving people don’t vote, as the Tea Party well knows (let’s remember the first Boston Tea Party was against the Government of King George. Present day Tea Party, originating in Palin’s Alaska, is too far from Boston to remember either Boston or King George (whoooo, Palin - what a tasty treat to have set before the King) – anyhow the original “Tea Party” helped bring down one government to replace another, as they are attempting to do now, but without George Washington or Thomas Jefferson or Benjamin Franklin to help out. The Neo-Confederate Rebels, our original USA terrorists if you count Fort Sumter as a “terrorist” attack – also if you count the shooting of the American President Abraham Lincoln in the back, while the poor fellow was watching a play, a “terrorist” attack – which the South still finds adoring praise for, as shooting in the back was among the favorite techniques of the “good Old boys,” mostly southern plantation drunks who did one-offs with their slaves, another story of earlier Republicans – anyhow the Neo Confederates, among them Ted Cruz, whose state called the “Lone Star State” – still flying its Confederate flag -- manages to stop or prevent more American legislatures than any other except perhaps for Mitch McConnell’s 400 blows to Democratic legislation (does anybody recall that “democratic” was once a phrase for moderate social justice and fairness?) – have I said that Ted Cruz is among those who still think Lincoln was misguided, and still apparently prefers back-shooting “liberals” as often as possible but, like Dick Cheny, will not ever actually eat his “kill” like a true sportsman, but prefers to leave it dead on the ground. OR I could be mistaken about Cheny eating his kill. Jeez, this is a bit much for a facebook posting at 8:38 AM on the day after River Phoenix died – his mother cremated my friend rather than eat him, though she did same metaphorically, another subject, sorry) – but let us remember that the South only surrendered for expedient purposes, that Southern States still get huge huge subsidies from the liberal “entitlement” states in basic blackmail subsidies so those states can survive congressional hearings designed to help the hungry population in a world of declining foodstuffs and mounting nuclear dangers. Let us remember that John Wilkes Booth did not act alone, that his cowardly dastardly act was against our entire “democracy.” Today much of Eric Cantor’s Virginia, and Lindsey Graham’s South Carolina would shoot Abe in the back again, or in the stomach if they could, which is where they are hurting the poorest and neediest among us, just as winter approaches, though it’s warmer in South Carolina and Kentucky than in the North, which the South despises today as much as yesterday; maybe even more. Lincoln, dear man, probably believed that keeping the USA “UNITED” was good for the whole country, but if you look at the “red” states – once a word for communists like “black list” was once a word for shunned Hollywood screenwriters like me – are the states that get the most money from the Federal government and generally have the poorest population as well as the least intelligent and educated. Rich southerners, however, as we witness blatantly at the Kentucky Derby, my wife’s favorite event, are well fed and have no need for food stamps, and if I were to suggest eating their horses, you bet there would be a far greater outcry than my suggestion we eat their Republican owners. I have a jar, which contains the gonads of Rush Limbaugh, and I will be selling replicas on the internet in time for Christmas, we hope. These will not satisfy any gourmet, they are way too tiny and fragile, but you watch – Rush won’t say a word about this because he knows he no longer has them and certainly won’t show them outside the safety net of his 90 million listeners. Anybody taking food stamps from the hungry just before Thanksgiving and Christmas, in the cold of winter, to disable their ability to live according to even the most meager means, deserves to be fed to the beasts or the hungry, in my opinion. I was inspired in this culinary regard by an earlier colleague, Jonathan Swift, who asked “SHOULD THE IRISH EAT THEIR CHILDREN” during a time of extreme poverty existing beside extreme wealth in the Irish/English conundrum. I say: eating children is a no-no, as nobody knows which child might grow up to be a great Republican Cooker, aside from the basic repulsion most people have regarding their kids in the culinary way. We are living in similar times as the starving Irish, or the starving slaves, but with the microwave and fast food joints, we could serve up clubby-chubby Republicans galore – Tea Partiers tastiest, I bet -- and the NFL might consider adding them to their mid-game menu. Sports are always good for selling hot “dogs.” The Neo Confederacy – see them on the Washington Stage trying to destroy a legislated attempt to help the poor get some kind of “affordable” -- (for the poor, the rich don’t need any help) -- health care in addition to food “stamps” – include Ted Cruz, Eric Cantor, Mitch McConnell, Lindsay Graham, Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Bachman (mmm), Sarah Palin (mmmm) Bob Corker (best filet, simple olive oil & garlick) John Boehner (slow braised on spit), Rick Santorum (fatty), Newt Gingrich (too fatty, like a goose), Dick Cheny – oh my, what a tasty bunch of fatheads – the heads and ears are considered a special delicacy in poor states. Enough of my gourmand ramblings for this AM on Facebook. Make you hungry? Enjoy!
Posted on: Sat, 02 Nov 2013 16:29:00 +0000
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