STAGE 3: From Month One Until The Month He Returns. This stage can also carry a variety of emotions but at the end of the first month, you should begin to find yourself in a routine and functioning through a normal lifestyle. In fact, during this stage, it is not uncommon to feel guilty that you are able to continue to do things you enjoy while your husband is deployed. You’ll find that while he is still on your mind and of course in your heart, you aren’t pondering him twenty four hours a day as you most likely were in the first few weeks. By this time, you should begin to have some communication with him, whether by phone, email or mail. Email is a great asset to deployments as you are able to communicate with your soldier as often as you would like rather than having to wait on a phone call from him. Many spouses say that one of the most frustrating things surrounding deployments is that phone calls must be initiated by him. This can give you a feeling of having to be trapped in your home and a missed phone call can be absolutely devastating. I highly recommend investing in a cell phone and instructing your husband to always call your cell phone. If this is not possible, place call forwarding on your phone for just a few dollars a month to ensure you won’t miss his call. When you do communicate with your spouse, do your best to keep things positive. A bad conversation during deployment can cause negative feelings that last a long time. And the fact is, you have no idea when he may be able to call back. While you should be open with your spouse, try not to overload him with problems that he cannot help to fix. I am by no means saying to hide these things from him, but if possible address them quickly and then move on to more pleasant subjects. Make the most of the time you have on the phone with him. During this time, it is important to communicate as often as possible whether through phone, email or mail. And don’t forget those care packages. While in many locations, the soldiers have access to a PX to buy essentials, it is nothing compared to receiving a package or even just a card from home. Don’t let your soldier be the one who isn’t receiving anything while he is deployed. Packages do not have to be expensive to put together. The post office offers priority packing materials for free that you can even go online and order to have them shipped to your home. They also have two priority flat rate boxes. No matter how much these boxes weigh, the price to ship them will be the same. Use this to your advantage and cram it full of your soldier’s favorite things! Your FRG should be able to give you a list of things that are acceptable to send to his specific location. It is very important that you have support in one form or another while he is gone. This can come from others with deployed spouses (which in my opinion is best), from family and friends and through your FRG. Be sure to go to every FRG meeting and ensure they have all of your contact information at all times. You don’t want to miss out on an important announcement because they can’t find you. Many FRGs have a variety of activities and events that you can participate in while your soldier is gone. The base also has volunteer opportunities available. No matter what you decide, be sure to have that support and let people know when you need their help. Many people are more than willing to help but just don’t know what to offer. Let them know what is best for you! During this time period, one of the most damaging occurrences to morale is the rumors. There may be rumors that the unit is coming home earlier than expected, that a deployed soldier is cheating on his spouse or vice versa. Do not participate in the rumor mill. If you hear rumors specifically about his unit, contact your FRG leader to set it straight. Rumors will only cause negative feelings in the long run. Do not feed into them.
Posted on: Tue, 06 Aug 2013 21:31:14 +0000
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