STORY TIME! I would like to begin by giving the University of Rochester a big, fat gold star for being AWESOME. All of the employees there are super nice, talk to me like a human being, and are very efficient. I was in, done with my stuff, and out of there in about an hour. Even exchanged snarky comments with the general secretary on our mutual dislike for our dickhole primary docs. So I park my ass in a chair to get my blood drawn. She sticks me once, after a few seconds, I casually glance over at the GIANT vial and ask, Whoa, is all of that mine? Then I notice more blood. Like, a LOT of blood. A LOT A LOT of blood. Like, I just pissed off Rick Grimes a lot of blood. Literally pouring out of my arm. Turns out she forgot the shut the valve the whole way, and I was bleeding out like an anime character. All over the table, on the arm rest, on the floor. Shes apologizing profusely, and Im just giggling like an idiot, telling her its OK, while remarking on how awesome it is to watch. I may be freaked out by medical needles, but Im more than OK with blood. Then, I feel a wash of numbness all over my entire body. I say, Oh, crap. I think Im passing out. The numbness intensifies, my head lolls to the side, and Im like, Yup. Here I go. The next unknown period of time is a blur. I THINK she was talking to me, and I MAY HAVE been responding, but the first clear thing I remember after coming to is a word I have invented called hyperventiwhining. Every exhale contained a high-pitched eehhh or uuuhhhn of some variety. Are you with us now? Ehhh, kind of. Are you OK? Uhn uhn uhn, kind of. Oh, then they had to stick me again in a more painful spot because I guess the original site clotted or something. >_> One of the lady doctors was giving me a little bit of the hairy eyeball as Im recovering, asking me if I had taken anything or was on anything before I came. I simply told her, No., but I thought, I just lost half my body weight in blood, woman! Cut me some slack here! After I was sufficiently with it enough, they wheelchaired me over to the MRI table and began the process. As I was being put into the machine, I noticed how small the tube was and immediately shut my eyes. If I cant see it, I dont know how tiny a space I am currently in. Im not overtly claustrophobic, but it does tend to make me a little nervous. When I was done, as I was coming out of the machine, I asked the dude if hed seen Tank Girl. Surprisingly, he replied that he had. I remarked on how I instantly thought of The Pipe from that movie and how it kind of freaked me out a little, but he said I did a good job at keeping still in there despite that fact and the fact that I was spasming a lot that morning. I also learned something about MRI machines. Apparently, it makes those loud ass noises because theyre all specific frequencies of radio waves or whatever they bombard me with to take pictures. At one point, when the noises were going vroo vroo vrooooooooooo and getting faster, I thought to myself, Am I in a particle accelerator? Am I going to disintegrate? Or wait, worse, am I at a dubstep concert? After it was all said and done, I got myself a big ol pile of hotcakes with bacon on the side, wolfed them down, and passed out again for about five hours. They said it will take two or three days to get the results from the MRI, then well see what happens from there. In the meantime, well, I guess I have more video games to play. XD THE END!
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 19:35:16 +0000
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