Sad flirting diaries: Dear Diary, I heard him before I saw him. Id be lying if I said I could understand him. His verbiage was that of another animal, one utterly primal and devoid of propriety. Why tap dance with wayward prose when you can shoot right to the heart of the matter? Cupids aim is true. He was an imposing force, dark and looming. He hunched over his shopping cart, which contained naught but his own backpack, as if to say: F*ck comsumerism! I got everything I need. My skin danced, immediately attracted to the non sequitur bald patch on the SIDE of his head, a gateway to the irreverent brain spinning within. Then his scent struck me, an oppressive wave of the popular street eau d toilette. The right kind of urine from the right kind of man... Theres nothing quite like it... Dang girl, he began. Look at you standing there (loading your groceries) lookin like Jennifer Aniston! I was unaware that my posture had taken on such a distinctive form. His lyrical tongue had indeed tickled my fancy. I laughed bashfully, How are you today? I asked, opening my womans door to him. Not so good. I get by, I get by... My heart broke for him. What horrors had he seen? Did he need my warm heart to act as his knight in shining stilettos? Well, thats not good, I replied stupidly. Yeah well, its hard out there. Every little bit counts. I had to save him! My maternal need sured forth; the protectress came to life! I reached into my pocketbook, entranced by his machismo, and gave him a couple Washingtons, my symbolic gesture indicating the rich life we could have together. Thank you, Miss. Thank you. My heart melted, but then he turned and walked away! Pushing his mighty steed throught the empty lot of my faded dreams. Take care out there, his disappearing voice said. Keep eating those salads... Vile temptor! Youre all the same. My heart was left bleeding, my pride swindled by yet another user; another leach with his false, seductive promises! Will no no clever beast lend me his mighty shoulder without pulling it out from under my weeping face? I re-entered the Albertsons to buy some tissues. #dualpurposes
Posted on: Mon, 17 Feb 2014 00:00:14 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015