~Schizophrenic Bunny Jaywalk- There is a way to live well beyond your appointed time. You need a car, preferably something late-model, with a strong body. Newer cars tend to be too light and not do enough damage. Next, you need to find a candidate. It has to be a pedestrian, and its best to pick younger people, as they have more time left, but not always. Youll have to watch them, if its late just drive slow and pretend to be lost, but if you have to, make a second sweep by going around the block. You have to do this on a black asphalt road with a clear yellow line. You can ONLY hit a candidate that does at least one of the following: 1. Crosses directly across the road at a run, without looking around. 2.Walks for more than eight feet on the road itself without touching the sidewalk or curb. 3.Stops walking or sits on the yellow line for more than three seconds. 4.Trips or falls on any pothole or uneven surface in the road and bleeds because of the fall. 5.Drops a personal item (key chain, phone, etc.) that shatters, with all the pieces remaining between the yellow line and the sidewalk. If a candidate does any of these, its an indicator that they are temporally detached from their “time”. If you hit and kill them with your car before they reach the next cross street, you can swap your time for theirs. If you were going to die tomorrow, but hit a valid candidate who wont die for eight years, you now have their remaining time instead of yours. Its unclear what happens to the candidates soul, but its probably not good. Theres a group, mostly old folks, who do this all the time. The founder says hes over two hundred years old, and he looks it. The name is like White Sunrise or something similar. They had a web page for a while, but it appears to be gone now. I remember browsing the forums once, and the name George Russell Weller was being discussed. He apparently screwed up an attempt, and was being kicked out. Just be careful out there. Ive noticed a lot of older folks skimming around suburbs lately, watching kids rather closely. Stay on the sidewalk, and keep your head down.
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 05:51:44 +0000
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