Secondary PTSD is not a disorder which is recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (as of the fourth edition). However, if you lived with someone who suffers from PTSD, you may notice yourself beginning to mirror some of their behaviors. This transformation is called Secondary Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The Many Faces of Secondary PTSD The signs, symptoms, and effects of Secondary PTSD are just as varied as the ones exhibited by Veterans with primary PTSD. It really is hard to explain, unless youve lived it. However, after reading as much as I can, Im going to try! Basically, when youre living with a veteran who has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, you become his (or her) caretaker. You slip into a role, without even noticing it, that has you constantly watching for people or circumstances that might set him off. Youre trying to make sure everything stays in line - that nothing aggravates or upsets your vet - that everything is perfect. Despite your best efforts, youre still getting screamed at and berated by the person youre trying to help on a much too frequent basis. Your vet is not emotionally there for you. When youre upset or happy, angry or sad, you have to deal with your emotions on your own. You begin to feel ignored and unloved and start protecting yourself by treating others - especially your vet - the same way. Youre also probably handling all household chores, childcare, financial management, etc. You get no help (or very little) from your spouse. Youre the cook, chauffeur, secretary, accountant, yard guy, child care provider, laundry service, etc., etc., etc. Everything in your family feels like its up to you. It is a 24x7 job at which you constantly fail. Its not humanly possible to do everything - or to prevent PTSD from creeping in. This cycle takes its toll on many spouses. You lose yourself. Its impossible to tiptoe around your vet, day in and day out, while taking care of all of lifes other duties (duties normally shared between two people), without feeling the strain. And that strain soon transforms into... ta da... Secondary PTSD. Secondary PTSD may make you feel overly angry, depressed, exhausted (but, alas, unable to sleep), overwhelmed, and just plain unhappy with the world around you. You may find there have been times when you found the idea of folding a load of laundry absolutely impossible or feel like you cant do anything right. You cry a lot and are really, REALLY pissed at the world. What to do if you think you have Secondary PTSD... In Australia Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service also available to retired members and their families: 1800 011 046 In America a non-profit organization called Give An Hour (GiveAnHour.org). They offer FREE counseling to spouses of Veterans as well as veterans, their children, family, caregivers, etc. Carve out time for yourself - I know that this is easier said than done. But, simply giving yourself a few minutes a day to read, take a walk, enjoy a bubble bath, or do anything else that you enjoy, will make a difference. Find someone to talk to - Ideally, you should talk to a fellow vet spouse. Again, it goes back to the difficulties involved in trying to explain what youre dealing with to anyone who hasnt walked the walk. Most importantly, though, you should talk to a friend who is a good listener and isnt judgmental. Youre going to need to be able to express how youre feeling without worrying about whether or not theyre going to think you are a bad person. Remember you love him or her and he/she loves you and with help you can get thru this. Refer to the contacts above for help or go to the about section on this page. I am always here to listen if you need someone to talk to It is better for you to go the Message area for your own Privacy. Mary
Posted on: Mon, 21 Oct 2013 11:41:36 +0000
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