Self-Editing Monday: More quality, less empty bulk, part three: Small but sneaky We’ve talked before about limiting usage of just (emphatic/upset dialog). And we’ve reviewed how “that” can often be replaced by “which,” “who,” or removed entirely. There is another sneaky filler I often see in writing; a small word many overlook: It. Yup. That itty bitty word can be a useful necessity, but is often an opportunity; overuse signals writing which could be tightened. I’m changing names to protect the guilty, but let me share a few before and after edits I’ve done recently, illustrating “it” improved. These are missing context, but I think youll see the potential. ~~~~~#1 Original: I will kill you if you do, he seethed as he crudely turned her neck to the side so he could repeat it directly into her ear. Better: I will kill you if you do, he seethed as he crudely turned her neck to the side so he could repeat the threat directly into her ear. ~~~~~#2 Original: The castle was finished after Susie was born, and it was for her it was named. (Double “it” and was four times… was being a topic for another day.) Better: The castle was finished after Susie’s birth, and named for her. (Now only a single was, and NO “it.”) ~~~~~#3 Original: … he will have to live with it the rest of his life. Better: … he will have to live with the consequences the rest of his life. ~~~~~#4 Original: I trembled more now, if it was even possible. Better: I trembled more now, which I wouldn’t have thought possible. ~~~~~#5 Original: “I sensed it when it happened.” Better: “I sensed your departure when it happened.” ~~~~~ An editor will—should?—flag these, but how can you find them for yourself (especially since many words are spelled with i-t)? Word’s find function to the rescue! Run a find on [space]it[space]. Also, if you are one of those over-achiever types, search [space]it[comma] and [comma][space]it. Be especially alert to “it” used more than once in a single sentence; those can nearly always be improved. Word will highlight your search item, quickly showing you density on the page. No, you won’t be able to eliminate them all. So then how many is too many? Well, when looking at usage of “it” over a full manuscript, I often see this word in the 1%+ range; higher than necessary, and definitely any larger portion is too many. Ideally, I’d aim for the .6-.7% range, or Not counting the five examples, 309 words, and I didnt use todays nemesis, other than in naming, a single time. Far below my suggested target of no more than once every ~150 words. You can do it! *wink*
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 16:00:01 +0000
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